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I can already hear my Catholic mom’s reaction to me writing about this event: “How awful, James! Don’t you care about these folks’ immortal souls?” But here’s the thing: I do care about y’all’s souls and your ownership over them. As the event copy for this joint venture from the Glass Coffin and Austin’s local Satanic Temple chapter encourages, here’s a chance to “claim yourself as your master and shed your bonds of abusive and false religions and dogmas!” No cost to be unbaptized but donations to everyone’s favorite ATX vampire parlour are appreciated – as is your patronage of the simultaneous goth swap and flea market. You can buy a certificate to make the whole biz official; those proceeds also benefit the Glass Coffin as it winds down its days on the I-35 frontage road. – James Scott

Some 162 years ago, Mexico defeated the French at the Battle of Puebla on May 5. Today, while often misattributed as Mexican Independence Day – which is in September, btw – Cinco de Mayo makes for a perfect time to celebrate Mexican culture and history. Get in on the action in the gayest way possible with Eva Inez, champ of local drag competition Grackle Games’ third cycle. Her hosting skills have been honed to precision through stints at both Little Drinks Lounge and Oilcan Harry’s by leading queer & trans BIPOC-focused shows. If anyone can lead y’all to party victory, it’s Miss Inez. – James Scott

Resident vixens Mars, May Magdalene, Veronica Valentine, and Tequila Rose throw a fab brunch. DJ Boyfriend ATX brings great tunes and vendors sling sweet wares thanks to Eastside Pop Up.

Make your appointment for curbside pickup at Out Youth and the Transgender Wellness Program's qmmunity closet for bus passes, groceries, hygiene items, art supplies, select gender-affirming items, and more. Days and hours of operation vary.

Make exercise fun again. Dance, cardio, and strength training workouts inspired by Richard Simmons, Jane Fonda, Big Freedia, and voguing.