They Were the Storm: A Tragedy on Lake Travis

How will you remember the fallen? (Cue mournful solo violin music.) Whomst among us will e'er forget where we were on that baleful morn? It was a clear, warm Saturday, Sept. 5, when the Great White Fleet sailed from Emerald Point Marina in a show of force to laud President Trump. But all too soon came the first fateful dispatches from the scene: "Multiple boats are in distress and sinking on Lake Travis for the 'Trump Boat Parade.'" By midday, five vessels lay wretchedly at the bottom of the lake, with many more requiring a tow back to shore. No injuries were reported, other than to participants' pride. The news quickly traveled the world, followed by a trail of rumor – dark words of sabotage and terror wreaked by antifa's crack underwater demolition teams. But in truth, the mariners from MAGAritaville were their own worst nightmare; carried away by spirits, they abandoned their parade formation at reckless speeds, with wakes turning the placid reservoir into a heaving tempest that small crafts could not survive. As the Republican Party of Texas had promised, they were, indeed, the storm.