The Legislature's Top 10 Alternatives to Abortion

1) Have the baby.

2) Seriously, have the baby. God wants you to.

3) Have the baby: If you don't, you're going to hell.

4) Have the baby. Who cares if it's your dad's?

5) Have the baby.

6) Have the baby; you do the deed, you pay the price – that's life!

7) Stop being so selfish: Have the baby.

8) Have the baby.

9) Four heads, five heads – hey, that's just more kiddo to love: Have the baby.

10) Don't have sex.