The Hightower Lowdown

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BOEING STRIKES GOLD

Who says the Bush-Rumsfeld Pentagon is a ruthless, cold-hearted, imperious war machine? I've just learned the Pentagon is an absolute softie, a sweetheart! If, that is, you happen to be a politically wired Pentagon contractor like Boeing.

In a deal that was opposed by Bush's own budget office and by a hawkish panel of military experts, the Pentagon decided to give a sweet kiss on the lips to Boeing, agreeing to a six-year lease of 100 of this conglomerate's 767 jetliners, which Boeing will convert into tankers for refueling long-distance bombers in midflight. This is the first time the Pentagon has ever chosen to rent rather than buy such a big-ticket item -- and it's a mighty costly rental indeed for us taxpayers.

The congressional accounting office calculates the cost of Boeing's kiss as up to $30 billion. That's $50 million per year per plane. Was there no alternative? Of course there was. For only $8 billion, the existing fleet of refueling tankers -- which has been performing beautifully according to the Air Force -- could be thoroughly modernized and would give us 35 more years of service.

But such a sensible savings of taxpayers' money was an idea that didn't have the lobbying clout that Boeing did. The aircraft giant is a major campaign contributor, and it mustered the political muscle of House Speaker Dennis Hastert, the Senate appropriations chairman, and a gaggle of lawmakers (both Republican and Democratic) from 17 states where Boeing operates. The final decision to approve this rip-off was made by George W. himself -- a guy whose Republican Party has enjoyed more than $2 million in donations from Boeing in the past four years and who is eager to raise millions more for his re-election bid next year.

So the Bushites and the Wobblycrats now can claim another victory for their policy of perpetual war -- they have defeated American taxpayers, hoisting Boeing's flag over people's needs, the need for real national security ... and common sense.

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THE MADE-FOR-TELEVISION PRESIDENT

Let's go to Tinseltown where one of Hollywood's fantasy-makers has been hard at work on a thrilling new action flick -- an explosive, two-hour, made-for-television movie coming to you this fall via the Showtime network.

Viewers will be mesmerized, titillated, and inspired by the steely-eyed resolve and nonstop heroics of this film's central character, who's presented as a combination of Harrison Ford and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The setting for this drama is September 11 -- the day of the terrorist attacks on America -- and our hero is none other than that paragon of presidential performance art: George W. Bush!

Believe it or not, this is a movie attempting to celebrate George's actions on that day -- a time that was not exactly his finest hour. You might recall that George went AWOL for several hours on September 11. He was supposed to be returning to Washington on Air Force One the morning of the attacks, but instead diverted off to New Orleans for a while, then took off for Nebraska. America was under attack ... but, eerily, America's president was missing.

No problem -- Hollywood can simply remake history. So Karl Rove, Bush's master manipulator, has teamed up with a right-wing Hollywood producer named Lionel Chetwynd to script a heroic version of George's flight from duty, calling the movie: The Big Dance.

Instead of the doe-eyed, uncertain, worried figure he was that day, Bush-on-film is transformed into an infallible, John Wayne-ish, Patton-type leader, barking orders to the Secret Service and demanding that the pilots return him immediately to the White House, defiantly saying: "If some tinhorn terrorist wants me, tell him to come and get me! I'll be home! Waiting for the bastard!"

Tough talk -- especially from a guy who dodged going to Vietnam. But Chetwynd -- a Republican insider appointed by George to the Arts and Humanities Council -- is better at histrionics than history.

George is no hero ... but he's going to play one on TV.