Happy Holidays to All, Especially Thieving Schmucks

Dear Editor,
    We just wanted to wish everyone in Austin a very Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah. Especially the schmucks who stole our beautiful, homemade, and very well-lit peace sign and five of our pink flamingoes, including the one dressed as a rabbi and the one dressed like a Christmas tree. Way to observe the holiday spirit. We're pretty sure that karma will pay you back for stealing a peace sign during the holidays. Nice. Anyhow, we do hope that everyone who didn't steal our peace sign has a grand holiday season. Happy New Year, Austin.