Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar
Anti-Gun
RECEIVED Mon., March 20, 2006
Dear Editor,
Twenty great uses for the gun in your house: 1) Settle domestic disputes, 2) settle disputes with neighbors, 3) something constructive to do while drunk/stoned, 4) hours of fun for the kids, 5) hours of fun for the neighbors' kids, 6) a big comfort during temper tantrums, 7) chance to be judge, jury, executioner, a big man, 8) almost like having a big penis, 9) big bonanza for gun thieves, 10) harmless way to blow more dough, 11) terrify the meter man, 12) help deal with feelings of guilt, inadequacy, rage, and other honky stuff, 13) fun to fondle ... and so big, 14) "I was totally sure it wasn't loaded, your honor," 15) get yourself killed in a raid, rather than merely arrested, 16) you can't always be reading great literature, right?, 17) rare chance to become a murderer, get reborn as a lab animal, etc., 18) "If it's good enough for the American Nazi Party, it's good enough for me,” 19) angry white men never screw up, 20) such a comfort when depressed.
Twenty great uses for the gun in your house: 1) Settle domestic disputes, 2) settle disputes with neighbors, 3) something constructive to do while drunk/stoned, 4) hours of fun for the kids, 5) hours of fun for the neighbors' kids, 6) a big comfort during temper tantrums, 7) chance to be judge, jury, executioner, a big man, 8) almost like having a big penis, 9) big bonanza for gun thieves, 10) harmless way to blow more dough, 11) terrify the meter man, 12) help deal with feelings of guilt, inadequacy, rage, and other honky stuff, 13) fun to fondle ... and so big, 14) "I was totally sure it wasn't loaded, your honor," 15) get yourself killed in a raid, rather than merely arrested, 16) you can't always be reading great literature, right?, 17) rare chance to become a murderer, get reborn as a lab animal, etc., 18) "If it's good enough for the American Nazi Party, it's good enough for me,” 19) angry white men never screw up, 20) such a comfort when depressed.
Perry Logan
