AFS Cinema
Bloody Cotton Balls and Painful Swelling
RECEIVED Tue., Sept. 28, 2004
Dear Editor,
Homosexuality's future is enigmatic.
I came across this insight while getting my wisdom teeth pulled. Right before I was to go under the knife, my dentist claimed that our children's children would not experience the bloody cotton balls and painful swelling I was about to endure. He claimed that this human trait is being phased out of the human body through evolution.
Before I could call him a quack, he shoved a gas mask over my mouth and asked me to breathe like Darth Vader.
Dental evolution doesn't just happen. If natural selection remains a theoretical truth, factors other than mere time would decide the persistence of a tooth – wisdom, bicuspid, or other. For example, if wisdom teeth caused mouth rot, which prevented us from eating, we would be reduced to malnourished and feeble creatures incapable of breeding. Only those lacking wisdom teeth would survive, much like the long-necked giraffe. However, modern medicine and my Darth Vader helmet prevent evolution – society removes natural selection with day surgery.
Although homosexuality is nothing like tooth decay, gay empowerment has unsuspectingly factored into the stability of the homosexual population. Homosexuals once remained shuttered in a closet and bred heterosexually, thereby passing their genes onto another generation. Now, with our newfound acceptance of homosexuality, gays and lesbians are entering into unions with one another, sidestepping sexual suppression and the process of having offspring. If this trend persists, homosexual genes will be naturally phased out of the breeding pool; numbers will be reduced over multiple generations.
Could acceptance and tolerance be the outside forces foreshadowing homosexuality's demise?
Or could Darwin's theory be dated? Procreation without intercourse is already possible, and genetic science will soon allow us to choose our sexuality. Man's meddling with the natural order may be homosexuality's last hope. How ironic.
Homosexuality's future is enigmatic.
I came across this insight while getting my wisdom teeth pulled. Right before I was to go under the knife, my dentist claimed that our children's children would not experience the bloody cotton balls and painful swelling I was about to endure. He claimed that this human trait is being phased out of the human body through evolution.
Before I could call him a quack, he shoved a gas mask over my mouth and asked me to breathe like Darth Vader.
Dental evolution doesn't just happen. If natural selection remains a theoretical truth, factors other than mere time would decide the persistence of a tooth – wisdom, bicuspid, or other. For example, if wisdom teeth caused mouth rot, which prevented us from eating, we would be reduced to malnourished and feeble creatures incapable of breeding. Only those lacking wisdom teeth would survive, much like the long-necked giraffe. However, modern medicine and my Darth Vader helmet prevent evolution – society removes natural selection with day surgery.
Although homosexuality is nothing like tooth decay, gay empowerment has unsuspectingly factored into the stability of the homosexual population. Homosexuals once remained shuttered in a closet and bred heterosexually, thereby passing their genes onto another generation. Now, with our newfound acceptance of homosexuality, gays and lesbians are entering into unions with one another, sidestepping sexual suppression and the process of having offspring. If this trend persists, homosexual genes will be naturally phased out of the breeding pool; numbers will be reduced over multiple generations.
Could acceptance and tolerance be the outside forces foreshadowing homosexuality's demise?
Or could Darwin's theory be dated? Procreation without intercourse is already possible, and genetic science will soon allow us to choose our sexuality. Man's meddling with the natural order may be homosexuality's last hope. How ironic.
Rad Tollett
