Monks Jazz Club
Personal Enlightenment
RECEIVED Tue., Jan. 6, 2004
After 45 years of living in Austin and watching my hometown become unbearable, this native Austinite finally moved away to a real town. Here are my Top 10 reasons why:
10) If you want to cut down a tree on your property, you don't have to worry about some treehugger chaining himself to your tree to protect some Mexican bird! No Tobacco Nazis either! Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!
9) No street beggars! Everyone here works for a living! No 25-year-old welfare moms with four kids and four different daddies.
8) The sheriff from the surrounding county uses the john to take a piss!
7) "Rush hour" traffic consists of three pickup trucks, one 1986 Chevrolet Impala and a 10-year-old on a bicycle!
6) If you break the law, you go to jail. You cannot use your race as an excuse for being picked on. Folks here take responsibility for their own actions!
5) You can bag your trash at the curbside with no extra charge!
4) If you want to build a storage shed in your back yard, you don't need six permits or an environmental study!
3) No liberal whiners! You work for what you get, and you get what you work for.
2) It takes 15 minutes to drive 15 miles! With no road rage!
1) A reasonable tax rate! Your $70,000 house is appraised at – are you ready for this? – $70,000! No self-righteous, bloviated officials with their hands in your pockets. After all, it's your money!
10) If you want to cut down a tree on your property, you don't have to worry about some treehugger chaining himself to your tree to protect some Mexican bird! No Tobacco Nazis either! Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!
9) No street beggars! Everyone here works for a living! No 25-year-old welfare moms with four kids and four different daddies.
8) The sheriff from the surrounding county uses the john to take a piss!
7) "Rush hour" traffic consists of three pickup trucks, one 1986 Chevrolet Impala and a 10-year-old on a bicycle!
6) If you break the law, you go to jail. You cannot use your race as an excuse for being picked on. Folks here take responsibility for their own actions!
5) You can bag your trash at the curbside with no extra charge!
4) If you want to build a storage shed in your back yard, you don't need six permits or an environmental study!
3) No liberal whiners! You work for what you get, and you get what you work for.
2) It takes 15 minutes to drive 15 miles! With no road rage!
1) A reasonable tax rate! Your $70,000 house is appraised at – are you ready for this? – $70,000! No self-righteous, bloviated officials with their hands in your pockets. After all, it's your money!
Rick McNutt
Comanche, Texas
Comanche, Texas
