How to Adult: Advice for New Grads, and Anyone Else Still Trying to Figure This Thing Out

Congratulations on graduating! We got you 100 bits of unsolicited advice!

As graduation presents go, it’s not great, but we’re on a budget. (Whoops, we meant to include that, too. #101: Make a budget.) Thing is, there’s just a lot to figure out when it comes to being a grownup. With that in mind, the collective “we” here at the Chronicle (ages early 20s to 70s) gathered our hard-won wisdom and put it all in one randomly assembled list. (“A list of chaos,” one of us dubbed it.)

There’s some stuff on the list that will seem thunderingly obvious to some of you, but it could be a revelation to someone else; similarly, there’s straight-up contradictory advice here. Everyone’s journey is different! We suggest you grab a pen and circle anything that speaks to you.

Good luck out there, y’all. You’re gonna do great.

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1) Introduce yourself to your neighbors, and write down their names in a place you’ll remember.

2) Start your day with stretching to stop being grumpy.

3) Replace air filters often. It’s cheaper to replace those than your overworked furnace. Take a cellphone photo of your air filter so you’ve always got the dimensions handy when you’re at the store.

4) Make spare keys.

5) Get a library card. An Austin Public Library card is free for Austinites (anyone in Texas can get an e-card annually for $22). Their free programming is great, and their digital resources (including books, audiobooks, magazines, and TV/film) will keep you entertained for exactly zero dollars.

6) Don’t know what to do? Just pick something. See what happens. Making no choice is a choice, and it’s usually the worst option.

7) Take your vacation days. You earned them. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about using them.

8) Reduce or eliminate meat consumption.

9) Pay off your school loans as soon as possible.

10) Never buy a new car (buy reliable cars with 100,000 miles on them already).

11) Find a reasonably priced plumber or, better yet, learn how to fix toilet tank issues and work with PEX pipe (it’s easy).

12) Learn five simple recipes you can see yourself making/eating regularly.

13) Make a meal plan and build a shopping list. Prepared meals are more expensive and possibly less healthy for you, even the uncooked/already seasoned stuff. Can’t trust yourself to stick to your plan at the grocery store? Do curbside pickup – it’s free!

14) Metamucil makes pooping better. Just try it.

15) If you have friends you want to keep, make a weekly or monthly ritual, like trivia nights or a regular workout where you can still talk.

16) Do you have ovaries, a B.A., and a need for $7,000? Maybe sell your eggs!

17) If you are subject to self-doubt, remember to follow your instincts. They’re usually correct. If you never feel self-doubt, begin to do so. When you encounter people without self-doubt, be very wary, especially about entering into any partnership with them.)

18) If you’re arguing over dishes too much, don’t be ashamed to get compostable plates.

19) Need to build your credit? Get a credit card and use it to pay for gas or groceries – then pay it back every month.

20) Deeply internalize that credit cards aren’t free money, and leave your card in a drawer if you can’t trust yourself out in the world with it.

21) Make time to consistently see live music. Local shows are the best place to make friends.

22) Don’t waste time trying to fix people. If you can’t accept them as they are, find different people to invest your time in.

23) Take walks. Play games.

24) If you’re still on your parents’ health insurance, use it! See a dermatologist, get a Pap smear, go wild.

25) Sign up for NormanMD. $15/month for 24/7 telemedicine with Austin doctors.

26) Never dump coffee grounds, grease, or anything big enough that you can pick up and put in the trash down your garbage disposal.

27) You can keep compost scraps in the freezer until you’re ready to take them out to the bin. Empty H-E-B lettuce containers work great.

28) Have some bottled water, batteries, and other supplies ready for emergencies. They happen more often than you’d think.

29) If you want counseling but can’t afford it, work with counselors-in-training. One example: St. Edward’s University has a counseling clinic with $15 sessions.

30) But be aware that counselors are people too – they come in all types. Wherever you go, if you don’t find the right fit at first, it’s not only OK to try someone else but worth taking the time to do so.

31) Life is so much better without hangovers.

32) Work in the service industry for a few years ...

33) ... then get out of the service industry! (Also, promise to never be one of the entitled jerks who made your life miserable.)

34) Interview your parents and grandparents and record it.

35) Cool homes make for good hangs. Balance out your IKEA furniture with some nice vintage stuff from Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist.

36) Be aware that you may be unconsciously attracted to dysfunctional people, and that becoming partners with them will complicate your life.

37) Wear natural fibers like cotton and linen in the summer so you look nice and don’t stink.

38) Go to a farmers’ market. It’ll give you an opportunity to mingle with growers and shop owners to learn about how they’re producing products sustainably. Plus you probably need more sunshine/vitamin D!

39) Do yourself a favor and start saving – even just a little – for retirement right away. If your company offers a 401(k) match, take it! It’s free money.

40) Get a high-yield savings account to keep up with inflation.

41) Pick a planner or calendar system that works for you. Maybe it’s just phone reminders.

42) To kick your social media addiction, pick a replacement for every time you reach for the app. Pick up a comic book, do a certain series of stretches, or whatever feels good to you.

43) If you’re tired all the time, get your blood tested to find out if you have an iron deficiency. If so, take a look at Floradix or another supplement.

44) Sign up for classes of any kind. Just because you’re done with school doesn’t mean you have to stop learning, and often classes outside of formal schools teach you better.

45) Don’t look for romantic partners with qualities that you aspire to but lack. No one can do self-betterment for you, and it creates a weird power dynamic.

46) The most generous gift you can give someone is your full attention.

47) Don’t make your job your entire identity.

48) If you have bags of frozen stuff in the freezer, instead of cutting straight across to open it, cut a triangle out of the middle (pointy-side-down) and then tie the two ends together. Saves on Ziplocs.

49) Pack your own sack lunch for work, but eat it at a communal area.

50) Unfortunately, cardio is the best therapy.

51) Cancel subscriptions periodically.

52) If you want to read but haven’t been a reader in a while, you might be trying too hard to educate yourself. Pick books purely because they’ll bring you joy and see what happens. (Yes, audiobooks count as reading.)

53) Don’t get a pet if you aren’t committed to it for its whole life.

54) If you think you’re not a cat person ... think again.

55) You can’t teach people how to treat you – sometimes letting things go and compartmentalizing people in your life rather than confronting them is the most peaceful choice.

56) Smoking and drinking are both expensive habits.

57) Have a personal email account you only use for personal correspondence. Keep the junky stuff out of it – someday you will prize those emails and be glad you don’t have to wade through old invoices and spam to get to them.

58) Do you struggle with being vulnerable? Go for a hike with somebody – it’s a good way to open up without having to make eye contact.

59) Manifestation is real, because if you give yourself a deadline (like “by the time I’m 27 I will have done X”) you’re more likely to actually work toward it.

60) Don’t laugh at astrology. It doesn’t make you look smart, you’re just less likely to get laid.

61) Making friends as an adult is hard as hell. Best thing to do is just go out a lot, take up a communal hobby (like two-stepping), or poach your friends’ other friends aggressively. Volunteering is a good way to find folks who share your values.

62) Share your streaming accounts and passwords – while you still can.

63) If you own a house and something breaks (something is always breaking), fire up YouTube, watch a tutorial, and try to do the repair yourself before calling someone. Best-case scenario, you save yourself hundreds or thousands of dollars. Worst-case scenario, you call someone anyway ...

64) And even if you can’t fix it yourself, do a little research first – what the problem likely is, and how much it will likely cost. Tradespeople can tell if you understand what’s going on and are much more likely to treat you fairly if you do.

65) Call your internet service provider once every year or so and threaten to cancel. They’ll usually offer you a discount to stay.

66) Learn and incorporate the communication techniques of validation and mirroring.

67) Problems tend to get more expensive the longer you ignore them.

68) Don’t stress too much about when is “the right age” to have kids. If you want children, just do it. Kids are life-changing and usually for the better.

69) Before the first kid pops out, do a little research on parenting. It’s especially important to learn how to establish authority over your progeny, how to deal with fatigue, and how to maintain your connection to the non-kid world.

70) Full inbox? Snooze non-urgent emails to a later date. Out of sight, out of mind. Focus on what needs to be done today.

71) Don’t get your news just from social media, or a single source. Cultivate a relationship with a couple of news sites you trust and visit their homepages every day. Get a subscription if you can afford it – they might have a student discount you can still sign up for.

72) Do not waste a single second hating your body.

73) Self-awareness doesn’t make your problems go away. Intellectualizing is a distancing tactic to stop yourself from feeling emotions. Sometimes the gut gets things the brain is too stupid for.

74) When it comes to dating, take it slow. For real: Someone’s heart is getting broken if you don’t.

75) Cleaning your house is often the best way to clear your mind and also procrastinate.

76) If you’ve got a perfectly ripe avocado that you’re not ready to eat, submerge it in water and put in the fridge. It’ll keep for a week.

77) If you’re struggling with creative block, switch mediums. If you’re a complete beginner it frees you up from patterns and helps you experiment with curiosity. Also: Read The Artist’s Way.

78) Asking dumb questions is the smartest thing to do in pretty much any circumstance.

79) Most people are terrible listeners. If you’re struggling to make friends, maybe check in with how often you’re telling people about yourself vs. asking about them with genuine interest.

80) Grow something! A $3 potted herb in your windowsill, an indoor plant (pothos and snake plants are hard to kill), or a hardy outdoor vegetable like jalapeños are good starters.

81) When you’re sad or lonely, go see an old movie at AFS Cinema.

82) If your partner won’t go to couples therapy, dump ’em.

83) Make a savings account just for paying taxes. And if it turns out you don’t need it, yippee!

84) Bald tires ain’t worth it. Totaled cars cost more than new tires.

85) Peel and freeze some bananas for easy smoothie making.

86) Read gym membership cancellation details (and all contracts) carefully.

87) Wear sunscreen on your face (and your neck!) every day, even if it’s cloudy. Your skin will thank you 10 years from now.

88) Curiosity is extremely sexy.

89) It’s okay to cry.

90) Stay on top of routine dental checkups. They might not be fun, but it’s better than a root canal.

91) Two dogs (or cats!) are better than one, cuz they play together.

92) Pet insurance is cheap for young pets, expensive for old ones. Get it while they’re little and save yourself thousands later.

93) Stuff is worth less than you think. If you haven’t used it/worn it in a year, sell it or donate it.

94) Ask for a raise, especially if you are a woman. Do it every year if you don’t get one automatically.

95) Be kind to customer service. Whatever’s gone wrong is almost certainly not their fault, and they’re your best bet for getting it fixed.

96) Don’t get a tattoo the same day it’s designed. Take a look at the design after sleeping on it – you might find issues. You don’t want those issues with you forever.

97) Try to have some friends who are older than you. You’ll be grateful for their wisdom when you start hitting life’s scarier landmarks, like losing a parent or finding a lump.

98) Check for lumps.

99) Keep protesting. It’s your right.

100) Support local news. (We’re partial to alt-weeklies.)