Winter Is Coming! Embrace the Cold as Night King Greg Abbott.

Enjoy this world while you still can, for once your Halloween revelry is over, Order Will Be Restored in Austin on Nov. 1. So reads the edict of our stone-cold would-be conqueror Greg Abbott, eager to swarm the streets of our Winterfell with his armies of White Walkers – or are they Red? – and blast away the warm aromas of Compassion with his icy flatulence of Freedom. Prepare for your new way of life!

1) Seize a copy of the foul fake-news Austin Chronicle, quickly before it falls apart in your cold, wet hands. Remember that "Texas believes in empowering People not Government" as you ignore the will of the people who elected the local government.

2) Cut the face out of the cover using the icy shards of your heart. Leave the rest of the paper on the streets to rot, alongside the feces, dirty needles, waste, and filth you will surely find there. (Do not recycle! You will need to do something with the trees the Night King wants destroyed.)

3) Don't forget to poke the eyes out, as if they were uppity cities and counties who deigned to take "local control." Be careful not to injure yourself, since the Night King is opposed to paid sick leave.

4) Finalize the look with some twine tied tightly around the back of your head. Reduced blood flow, along with reduced access to quality education and health care, is not a bug but a feature of the Texas miracle. Prepare to dehumanize your neighbors as the Long Night falls upon the land!

5) Reanimate your White Walkers; they also answer to "ICE" – no sanctuary for you! Also reanimate your moldering zombie ideas about what women get to decide about their bodies, whether queer Texans should be stripped of their rights, if homelessness is really a crime, if the right to vote is granted or taken away at the Night King's pleasure, and so on.

6) Pillage the city. Collect your booty – the spirits of demoralized Austinites! – in one or more single-use plastic bags, which henceforth will be handed out for free to everyone, regardless of need.

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The Austin Chronicle Halloween Mask cover is an annual tradition. Find our gallery of masks from the past three decades at austinchronicle.com/special/halloween-masks.