Every Day Is Dress-Up Day

How to Survive This School Year in 10 Simple (Yet Fashionable!) Steps

1) As always, it's all in the attitude. If someone is picking on you, do your best to make this pest understand that their opinion does not matter. If you have, for example, a pair of shoes that someone just can't stand, get a matching shirt. Show it off and don't be ashamed. If you're small and someone threatens to beat you up or throw you in a trash can, run.

2) Accessorize. If spikes and plaid are your style, go that direction. If you're more the gold chain type, well, only God can help you.

3) Buy school supplies. Sure, by about the fourth day, you're all out of notebook paper. But you should try to get several notebooks and pencils and pens, etc., and make them all match. Or have some lovely motif. If anyone says anything, refer to 1.

4) Bring an extra outfit. In case some other person ends up wearing the same shirt. (It happens all the time.) You must be individualized. You must. It's not funny when you end up wearing the same thing as someone else. Don't try to laugh it off, you'll only look like a goober. To prevent that from happening, make your clothes individual, even if it's just writing something on a white shirt with a Sharpie. It doesn't even have to look nice.

5) Your backpack is the best place to put your opinion. Why? Because you don't have to see who's reading it. You could write on it, spray paint it, put patches/buttons on it, draw on it, put a doll on it, etc. Shoes are also a good place to put opinions, but it's slightly harder to get whatever you have to say across because of space restrictions.

6) Dye your hair. Even if it's only, like, three shades lighter, dye it. If anyone ever says anything like, "Wow, I love your hair!" Say something amazing in response. For example, "Yeah, I just had it dyed." Everyone will be amazed.

7) Make personalized business cards with your e-mail and cell phone number. If you don't have e-mail or a cell phone, improvise. Hand them out any chance you get. Handmade ones are okay. But always make sure you have different cards to match every outfit.

8) Defy gravity (high). Use hair glue whenever you can to make your hair stand up as tall as you like. Spikes are a fave ... but be creative.

9) Defy gravity (low). Girls, the taller your shoes, the more frightening you are. If you want to be scary, get huge heels. Platforms are not so scary.

10) That's about it. Anything else you need to know, you can make up on your own.