Dunston Checks in

“I have two words for you,” threatens jewel thief Lord Rutledge (Everett) to his disgruntled simian sidekick Dunston: “Medical experiments.” More lines like this would improve Ken Kwapis’ (He Said, She Said, Vibes) newest feature about a five-star New York hotel run by manager Robert Grant (Alexander) and terrorized by its tight-fisted and shrewish owner Mrs. Dubrow (Dunaway). Life at the Majestic Hotel is fairly chaotic on an average day for Grant as he struggles to appease the hotel guests while single-handedly raising his two sons Brian (Sack) and Kyle (Lloyd). When Rutledge and his chimp Dunston check in to check out the guests’ jewels, Grant has his hands full. Dunston’s abandonment of a life of crime means more chaos for Grant when the chimp runs amok in the hotel. Befriended by younger son Kyle, Dunston lives a life on the lam as Kyle attempts to save his new friend from cruel mistreatment by Dunston’s crooked boss Lord Rutledge and entrapment by animal control officer Buck La Farge (Reubens). Alexander seems to be getting the most acting range from his Rold Gold commercials these days; as the beleaguered and sarcastic manager, Alexander basically recreates his character George from Seinfeld. Eric Lloyd’s performance as young Kyle sweetens the film, and Everett’s evil jewel thief sprinkles enough malice to make things interesting. Dunaway’s casting as the snooty Mrs. Dubrow provides some entertaining moments and proves that there really must be no decent leading roles for “seasoned” actresses in Hollywood. As lowbrow animal control officer Buck La Farge, Paul Reubens ties with Dunston for best performance in this film. His appearance at the Majestic’s Crystal Ball in a purple tuxedo is a must-see for all Pee-wee Herman fans in the audience. A crowd-pleaser for the under-10 set judging from the preview audience’s reaction, Dunston Checks In offers a few funny scenes, one-liners, and characters, but not enough to inspire the entire film.