Return to the Blue Lagoon

They had to wait over ten years to make a sequel to Randal Kleiser's Blue Lagoon (which is itself a remake of a 1949 British movie) because they had to wait for a generation who wouldn't remember how really awful the 1980 film was. As one who has now seen them both, and having no desire to see others suffer a similar fate, let me ease your curiosity. The sequel is not as bad as the original, but it doesn't have to be much to accomplish that small feat and it isn't. Probably the best parts of the film are the absurd machinations that result in getting the original couple off the island (we see only see their poor pathetic castaway bodies), their son saved by a passing boat with a young woman and her baby daughter on board, and an outbreak of cholera among the crew requiring that the young mother and two children are put off into the open sea where they wash up on, of course, you know it, how could it be otherwise, the same damn island. Well, we've had our fun, now we have to get rid of the young mother after she goes to the trouble of instilling values and table manners into the youngsters. And with just enough time for a polite sniffle or two, our kids are ready to indulge in an innocent sexual cavort without parents or adults around. This is every kid's dream: to be young, beautiful, and free to do anything with the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend who is practically a brother or sister. So let the kids, mostly little girl kids, see it. It's stupid, it'll probably cause a certain amount of brain damage, but they'll do it anyway and it's better for them than crack.