UT Fan Threatens Doug Flutie, Autistic Children

In a move that can only be described as the first thing that's ever made me glad I went to Texas Tech, a Texas fan e-mailed a threat to Doug Flutie on Sunday, blaming the Longhorns loss to K-State on Flutie's analysis of the game. For that extra touch of Texas class, the fan sent the e-mail, accusing Flutie of jinxing the Horns out of a shot at the national title, not to Flutie's actual e-mail address, but to the Doug Flutie Jr. Foundation for Autism.

Ironically, Doug Flutie actually projected the Texans to win in his pregame analysis (thereby jinxing them). Unfortunately for the Horns, Saturday was totally opposites day.

In a made-up post-game interview, Horns QB Colt McCoy had this to say: "Sure, it's easy to blame us for the loss, but that completely leaves out the two main culprits here: Flutie's irresponsibly positive comments about our team, and of course, autistic children throughout the world."

Any casual fan might threaten a commentator and his family for jinxing his favorite team, but it takes a special breed to carry the blame over to a charity for children with learning disabilities.

In other football news, Sports Illustrated is reporting that Bill Parcells may be staying with the Cowboys for yet another disappointing season to help develop Tony Romo into the kind of superstar QB Parcells is famous for cranking out (Vinny Testaverde, Drew Bledsoe, etc.). Awesome.

It's obviously no coincidence that this story is running on the opening day of the animated film Happy Feet. If anyone needs me, I'll be at the nearest Antarctic wildlife preserve, stomping on penguin eggs.