Booze, Blades, and Babes: Alamo Slaughter Lane Opens

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It wouldn't be an Alamo opening if the above prerequisites weren't met, right? Contrary to what your fevered imagination is presently conjuring, however, the rotgut was confined to mimosas, the edged weaponry was a blunt calvary saber, and the babes were Cassidy and Calliope League, aged six months and six months, respectively.

Like all good things in life -- crushing your enemies, driving them before you, hearing the lamentations of their women -- the opening ceremony for Alamo Slaughter Lane began with a decapitation. True, it was a bottle of bubbly that lost its head to guest Robert Rodriguez's well-placed saber slice, but that's just semantics: there was a decapitation. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Owner/founders Tim and Karrie League's fifth Austin Alamo is smack dab on the corner of Mopac and Slaughter lane and will henceforth be known as the "Slaughterhouse." It's shiny and new on the inside and boasts the snazzy 400 Rabbits bar/lounge right next door, but there's plenty of the traditional Alamo weirdness inside, not least of which is the "carnivorous plants theme" that dominates the lobby. (Are they Triffids or Little Shop of Horrors' Audrey? Does it matter?)

"Karrie and I briefly operated a theater in Bakersfield, California, where I was working at the time," recalled Daddy League, resplendent in a Teal polyester leisure suit. "It was an abject failure so we came here to Austin to do it right. We came with a giant trailer full of about 200 seats, a projector, some speakers, a screen, and not nearly enough money. The two of us built [the first Alamo Drafthouse at 409 Colorado St.] it by hand and opened in 1997 without any real experience other than being movie lovers, which I think is still the most important thing."

Truly, it's hard to imagine Austin without the Alamo Drafthouse. The League's stroke of genius -- movies + alcohol + food = awesome! -- has been copied to lesser extents elsewhere, but only at an actual Alamo will you find a middle aged guy, his wife, two babies, an assortment of archaic weapons, and the director of El Mariachi all on the same podium.

"Can I call you exhibitionists, since you're exhibitors," quipped Rodriguez. "You're the most innovative exhibitionists in the country if not the world, and hopefully, with pride and some humility, [the Alamo Drafthouse] will go and take over the world."

Not a bad plan, we agree, but seriously, that leisure suit's gotta go. Everything else is perfect.