News from the runway: RuPaul will host a new reality show that explores the illusion of reality (or reality of illusion?), called RuPaul's Drag Race. Helloooooo? Where our faboo Austin ladies at? Come on, darlings, there is still time for you to go online and submit your sashay on the runway.

Everybody's wetting their pants over Madge's latest snog. As with Brit's VMA thingy, the fur is flying, from excitement and titillation to eyerolls and stone-casting. Oh, such dogpile cynicism. Madonna kissed someone onstage. NBD, n'est-ce pas? Perhaps, they were simply exchanging a piece of hardtack. I dunno, I thought it was kinda sweet.

Ahh, the hip hop closet. The soon-to-be-released book, Hiding in Hip Hop by MTV exec Terrance Dean is supposed to blow the shit off that pocket door. We'll see. I mean, if we get pages of Diddy, Missy, Queen Lateef, and Kanye? Big yawn. But if we're talkin' Fifty, Busta, or Dre, you've got my attention. Here's a great think piece from back in 2001 by Chris Nutter in the Village Voice about men on the DL in the hip hop industry. Were it not so incisive and interesting, I'd say the article existed merely to flaunt Nutter's fabulous turn of phrase, "Puffy's poufy pals." Some might argue that this whole on the DL thing enjoys a twistedly fascinating relationship within the black community. As if there are no evolved angels willing to stand up against homophobia. Don't know 'bout all that. Doesn't seem very different from the Texas Lege, if you ask me.

This one's for my fellas (or the three straight and/or bi ladies who read this. sigh). In the new movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall, lead dork-o-hunky everyman Jason Segel shows his wanger no less than 72 times. It's integral to the plot. Really. It's a nice device. (…) I like Jason Segal. He's like Judge Reinhold. Or Albert Brooks. With junk. And less back hair. In poking around the internet for pics of the Seeeg, this manly man site kept popping up. Oooh ahhh ooooh.

Nathan Lane was his usual fabulously jofeyal self on a recent one-on-one on Jon Stewart's The Daily Show. He whipped out some great current events barbs about the UK Nazi S&M scandal ("This makes Elliot Spitzer look like a little school girl…") and the recent appearance on Oprah of Thomas Beatie, a man who is with child (Lane's quip begins at 4:45 in the clip below).

"That was so disappointing," said Lane. "He's a transsexual. It's not like James Gandolfini woke up with morning sickness."

Now, I consider myself pretty open to the skew that folks bring to the gender buffet, but the sight of a knocked up Tony Soprano has me doing Scooby Doos. I mean, I am still recovering from Emma Thompson appearing in that Schwarzenegger stinker, Junior.

And speaking of Governor Flip-Flopernator, his recent comments about a gay marriage ban at a California Log Cabin convention are curious, especially when one totally recalls his veto record in the state on the same issue. Pandering… ? Which time?

He'll be back… and forth.

Raise your hand if you have a holiday story regarding coming out. Raise the other hand if one of those stories happened this year.

Okay, now put your hands down. You'll want to click some links.

Our favorite coming out tale of the holiday season is hands-down, Jodie Foster.

We realized (after the ironic holiday-long cleaning of our own walk-in – literally, not metaphorically…) that almost the entire holiday season went by and we hadn't yet weighed in on the news that One. Of. Our. Very. Favorite. Actresses. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. had finally acknowledged what we'd hoped she would for so very long.

Confession time: I love the Golden Compass! The books and the movie, and I have to share two totally gay and homo and GAY items of Compass-lore.

Firstly, the film. One of the story's main characters is a ferocious rusty-armoured ice bear (that's panserbjorn!)named Iorek Byrnison who thrives on war and combat. Who better to voice this CGI marvel that the Queen of the Theater herssself: Ian McKellan! Is now the time to admit that I have fantasies of being the hot twenty-something on his arm at the 2002 Oscars? Yes, now is the time. I saw the movie with friends and family, and the gays were in agreement, Iorek Byrnison was hot!! Really, it was McKellan's deep, booming... voice.

So he's a hot bear. Ian McKellan.

That's a Chanukah reference, fool.

Whatever. Just buy it for me … I mean "us." Go. Here. Now.

Oh, landsakes. I need nothing under my tree (or bush), friends, for Christmas and Chanukah have come early this year. Dolly and Amy in one video. And such sage sentiment. "She has all she needs but she is never satisfied. Ring a bell?"