Dear BSG: Am I Gay?

Ooh-la-la

Dear BSG,
Whenever I have sex with my wife, I fantasize about having sex with my secretary (who's a guy), does that mean I'm gay?
signed,
"DOUBTING MYSELF"

Dear DOUBTING,

It depends on how hot the secretary is.

I fantasize about double penetration gangbangs all the time, but I feel no temptation to actually go out and pull a train (well, maybe just a little). People fantasize about all kinds of crazy scenarios they would never really enjoy in real life. That is why it's called a fantasy. I'm satisfied with having sex with my husband – the fantasy just spices it up a little. EVERYBODY DOES THIS. Maybe the idea of blowing your secretary is hot to you because it is different and dirty and married sex can get boring. Chances are, your wife is also thinking about blowing this hot secretary – and that's normal, too.

As for whether or not you're gay, how the fuck do I know? Don't ask the straight girl, look inside your heart. Deep down, we all know everything about who we are. Maybe you're bi.

Do you feel tempted to act it out? It's really tragic when someone is different and for whatever social or religious reason, can't express who they really are. If you are gay, you have a hard road ahead of you. I can't even imagine how difficult it is to come out. Your wife will definitely want to stab you in the face. But with time, she might come to see that she hasn't lost a husband, she's gained a new girlfriend. Personally – and I realize that this is weird – if I had to choose between my husband realizing that he's gay and finding him doing some 20-year-old doggie style one afternoon, I'd choose the gay. Why? because God didn't make him drill a coed, but you've got no choice over whether you're straight or gay. And – after the stabbing – I'd have him back as my best friend. First thing on the agenda: scoping out that hot secretary's butt.

To read more Best Straight Girlfriend, check out Claire's website- IWillStabYouintheFace.com.