Oh, Britney

Just sat down for my weekend-ending TV decompress session and realized that I was just in time for la Brit's comeback, opening MTV's VMAs. Kanye West is pissed that he's relegated to opening one of the four other parties happening elsewhere at the Palms in Vegas concurrent to the awards. (Ha ha! They just cut to him in the party again and he's belting out "Stronger" which sounds dedicated to Brit):

N-now th-th-that that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger
I need you to hurry up now
Cause I can't wait much longer
I know I got to be right now
Cause I can't get much wronger
Man I been waitin' all night now
That's how long I've been on ya...

Ooh, now an online service is offering that very song! Wow. Oh, and you can get Brit's freshly doled comeback number "Gimme" as a ringtone right now! Dang.

Sigh.

No python. No hot-homo-ero kiss (but Sarah Silverman did make a funny joke about that). Just listless, bikini- and boot-clad Brit and, like, 99 dancers. Is it just me, or does Brit look more sedated than usual? Not sedate. Sedated. It's freaky. Yeah, she's thicker, too, but personally, I am down with Britney's rears, so bring it on. Keep eating, sister.

But she looks so sad. Like circus pony sad. Like circus pony with a broken leg who they rolled out way before she properly healed sad. Like her pal the docile, caged tiger dripping in THC sad.

It's contagious.

Best lines of the night were owned by Sarah Silverman:

"Hey! Wow! I can't believe this. 50 Cent is here. That's awwwesome! Can I just say that I think it is so cute that he is still alive."

"I was talking to Cee-Lo backstage, and I asked him, 'When you were growing up in Atlanta, did you encounter any racism? And he said something really interesting. He said, 'I am Kanye West.'"