Anti-Choice Group Doubles Down on HB 2

Mark Crutcher

It would seem that abortion foes would rest on their laurels after winning the SCOTUS bonus round of the HB 2 fight. After all, that decision means that abortion services will continue to be suspended at clinics across Texas. But like activist Veruca Salts, they don't care how, they want it now.

We won't even be treated to an atonal musical number first.

Mark Crutcher, the president of Denton-based anti-choice emporium Life Dynamics, recently sent out a letter to local hospitals thinly warning them that should they grant abortion-performing doctors admitting privileges, they better be prepared for a rumble.

He starts with an explanation of the law for today's busy hospital administers who barely have time to keep up with The Big Bang Theory much less read headlines. "Recent changes in Texas law require doctor who work at abortion clinics to have admitting privileges at nearby hospitals," he says. "However, most of these people do not have such privileges and cannot get them."

Why can't abortion providers get admitting privileges? Crutcher has a list of "notable reasons." Chief among those is "the competence and character of practitioners who work at abortion clinics is inevitably substandard" and "hospitals do not want to have their reputations damaged by the stigma that accompanies both abortion and the people who do them."

That should be enough to convince hospitals. If there is one thing medical professionals just can't stand, it's having Crutcher look at them like a disappointed dad. But Crutcher waits until the end of the list for his money shot: "any link to abortion creates the possibility of protests and boycotts and may cause some patients and physicians to reject the hospital." Protests from folks like Life Dynamics, who roll out a Grand Guignol sideshow of bloody fetus pics and "Klan parenthood" literature.

Unfortunately, Crutcher warns, sometimes hospitals are snookered. "If you are approached by someone seeking privileges who is involved with abortion," he says "it is almost certain that he or she will conceal this information from you." Sometimes they'll come dressed as Mary Tyler Moore and you'll get lost in all the beret throwing. Sometimes they'll dress like wee little kittens. You think they are just there to lap at milk, but before you know it they are performing multiple abortions onsite.

Crutcher continues, "It is important to understand that it is far easier to keep these people out of your hospital in the first place than it will be to get them out later." Like your college friend who just wanted to crash with you for a few days, abortion providers will overstay their welcome. They'll eat all your lasagna and never help do the dishes. Gawd, they are the worst, says Crutcher.

Guess it takes one to know one.