Will Wynn is My Wingman

My RSS feeds just ain't what they used to be. It was just brought to my attention this was posted to Austin Craigslist's 'Missed Connections' on Sunday:

Will Wynn, an 18-wheeler doesn't really match my dress. - w4m

Mayor, what does a girl have to do to get your attention? I am contemplating hijacking an 18-wheeler and parking it somewhere auspicious. Maybe 6th street this time? During rush hour, I think. I bet you're cute when you're mad.

You bolted out of the Grinch Gala at like 9:30p. What's that about? A little glad-handing and kissing of babies and then you tuck yourself in? I wanted to show you my dance moves. I have one.

Alas, your buddy Wells Dunbar is the only one who will reply to this message. Is he cute and single? Are you? Cute, yes. Single? As we've discussed, you've got to give up the blond, big-busted hoochie mamas. It's not you, it's them. Based on your outburst last week, you are really stressed out. I'm really just a concerned citizen, worried about your health.

So, next time I see you, I'll curl my tongue at you and then I'll probably start giggling like a little girl because I have a crush on the mayor. Perhaps you'll laugh and feel less uptight. Then I won't have to drive an 18-wheeler to the ball, know what I'm saying?

Whoa.