https://www.austinchronicle.com/daily/news/2006-12-18/430116/

'Chronicle' Gift Guide Glimpse

By Wells Dunbar, December 18, 2006, 10:29am, Newsdesk

As a boon to all you last-minute shoppers, the Chronicle's crack team of reporters is assembling a holiday gift guide this week. Here's a quick preview for you procrastinators.

NewsMax Top 8 Bestselling Christmas Gifts:

Winger "news" Web site NewsMax declares victory in the War on Christmas with these thoughtless, ahem, thoughtful gifts. Get inspired by The Duke via "John Wayne: America, Why I Love Her," or listen in for signs of the Rapture on your Emergency World Band Radio.

Rummy's Forget Me (Not!) T-Shirt:

The curtains closed on Donald Rumsfeld's career last week, not a moment too soon. Here's a timely gift that fits the season to a T. Dreaming of a cathartic Christmas? Blaze the hike-and-bike trail in this little number and your endorphins will perk up faster than you can say "I don't do quaqmires." Rumsfeld Who? indeed. Fine this and other Rummy gems at CafrePress.com (search under Donald Rumsfeld).

Anything But Tofu and Soymilk:

Because as we all know, it makes you Teh Gay!