Socking the Newman

No one’s suggesting that it’s illegal to wear nothing but shoes on your otherwise naked feet. No one’s suggesting, in other words, that a person ever has to wear socks.

Jason Newman: Probably wearing socks as you read these words.

But, listen: Most of us in this country do wear socks.

Because they keep our outer footwear from chafing. Because they provide further insulation from the elements – whether those elements are particularly harsh or gentle or just sensually business-as-usual. Because they also, these socks, wick away or at least absorb our feet’s own natural perspiration, so we don’t wind up feeling, ew, all moist or soggy down there where our toes are.

All of that, yes: All of that is why socks are a thing.

Luckily, socks are also a beautiful thing. Or, in any case, they can be a beautiful thing.

You want some high-end footcoverings that are elegant enough to complement your finest shoes? Socks that are like smooth little tubular works of art in and of themselves? Or maybe you’re just looking for a pair that are more, well, more fun than the same-old same-old?

Ladies and gentlemen, take a good and delighted look at Ozone Socks. For instance, right? Take a good look and know that Ozone’s likely got the polychrome pizzazz you’ve been seeking.

And know that you’re in good company, aficionado-wise, too, as Austin’s own Jason Newman – actor, musician, bon vivant – is also a fan of socks ….

Austin Chronicle: Say what?

Jason Newman: Yeah, I’ve got about 25 pairs of graphic or otherwise goofy socks. But eight or so are currently singles.

AC: Whoa. And how’d you get started on this, ah, Glorious Sockian Journey of yours?

JN: I mentioned to a former girlfriend that I was thinking about getting fancier socks. At that point I mostly just had black and whites, plus one pair of classic ABA-style striped tube socks, and a pair of "YouTube" socks – get it? – that were being given away at a SXSW party in 2010 or so. And she, being a very thoughtful gift-giver, later got me these cool Southwest-pattern socks. And I was like, “Yeah – this feels right.” Now I only have a few basic socks and the rest are all like planets, or Abraham Lincoln, or a collage of the Spurs 2014 championship. And some that are just colors which I occasionally try to coordinate with other clothes.

AC: And you get these socks for yourself? Like a collector?

JN: Now that I have a reputation for liking them, I get them sometimes for my birthday or whatever. I think they're good gifts, because they're practical but also unnecessary. Also, people see them more than they see funny boxer shorts – but not as much as funny T-shirts? Socks are kind of a sweet spot as far as novelty clothing item visibility goes. And they're a big thing now, I guess – BookPeople has them everywhere, and Blue Velvet, that thrift store on North Loop, also has some good ones.

And, as mentioned above, Ozone and other online retailers as well – although, to be sure, Ozone’s offerings are much more in the style-and-elegance line and less in the goofy-novelty area.

Which we figured you should know, citizen … especially if you already happen to have a pair of those, ah, bone-supported foot things at the lower end of your legs, right?