Santa Claus said WHAT at Half Price Books?

Is this the party to whom I'm jingling?

It's kind of like, uh, Dial-A-Santa …?

Except that it's also like Dial-A-Half-Price-Books-Employee and, when you do, you get to hear them regale you with a holiday-themed joke or a poem or song.

They're calling this thing Halfy Call-A-Days.

And, yes, just the punning name of it makes us groan like a dyspeptic wildebeest.

But you know what? We reckon that even the more Scroogey among us would agree: Shenanigans like these Half Price shenanigans are one of the reasons we love living deep in the heart of Austin, Texas …

OK, first you punch in 1-855-HPB-FONE.

And then … here's your telephonic menu, sir or madam:

Press One to hear a holiday greeting from the Half Price Books Santa Claus.

Press Two to hear “Twas the Night Before Christmas in the Bookstore,” an original parody poem written by Lease Renewal Manager Elizabeth Elkins and read by Tim Jernigan, Human Resources Director.

Press Three to hear “Up on the Housetop” performed by Steve Leach, the Half Price Books “Buy Guy.”

Press Four to hear a holiday joke from Stephen Danby, Corporate Customer Service Rep.

Press Five to hear “Auld Lang Syne” performed by “Caroling Marketeers” (aka Becky Gomez and Cecily Gordon)

Press Six to hear an original song performed by Jim Swayze.

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NOTE: We're advised that the selection of options may change as the days go by,
but the above is what's available now. As a wise fat man once said: "Ho-ho-ho!"