Breathless features in the style sections of Time and The New York Times notwithstanding, it's finally official. The national needlework fever has been given the big nod by the venerable kit/book masters at Workman. The publication of S.E.W.: Sew Everything Workshop, the Complete Step-by-Step Beginner's Guide by Diana Rupp ($26.95, 256 pp.) arrives just in time, as "beginners'" kute-kits dangerously abound, long on pre-fab styling and about as worthless, creatively, as the scrapbooking aisle.

We got our raccoon claws on this one quickly, as Workman has been tricking us into an education for decades with ahead-of-their-time releases like windowsill herb gardens and perfect plexiglass bird feeders. Never just another pretty face, Workman's packaging and book design is always original, and unlike most tarted-up bookstore products, there is always at least a substantive primer within. We buy Workman because they publish books that invite us to try, and knowing that we really may not want the pesky, yet essential details, they manage to slip them in anyway in the form of sexy design and good writing. Kind of like your mom slipping wheat germ into the brownies.

Confession time: I love the Golden Compass! The books and the movie, and I have to share two totally gay and homo and GAY items of Compass-lore.

Firstly, the film. One of the story's main characters is a ferocious rusty-armoured ice bear (that's panserbjorn!)named Iorek Byrnison who thrives on war and combat. Who better to voice this CGI marvel that the Queen of the Theater herssself: Ian McKellan! Is now the time to admit that I have fantasies of being the hot twenty-something on his arm at the 2002 Oscars? Yes, now is the time. I saw the movie with friends and family, and the gays were in agreement, Iorek Byrnison was hot!! Really, it was McKellan's deep, booming... voice.

So he's a hot bear. Ian McKellan.

I had no idea what to expect going into the Trail of Lights 5K. I have never attended an organized race, let alone participated in one. I figured there may be a couple hundred or so people, 500 tops. I heard a figure of more than 4 thousand participants. Holy %$@*. More than 4000 people! I couldn't believe how many people there were.

It took almost 13 minutes for all the participants to cross the starting line! 13 MINUTES! And less than one minute after that, the first runner crossed the finish line (Ya, thats like a 14 minute 5K). . . thats nuts! (I know I am abusing the exclamation mark here, but I am still in awe) I was warned that this 5K in particular is known as a family run and that many people will bring dogs and strollers. So I was advised to try to work my to the front before the start of the race in order to avoid the dodging and weaving.

I started very near the front and after a few minutes of ultra conditioned runners sprinting past me, I fell into a good pace with a large group. This group (lead by a petite girl wearing a rope of green Christmas lights) pretty much stuck together for the first mile and half. A few runners broke off for a faster stride and a few others fell behind but for the most part we kept a pretty good sized group together through most of the actual trail of lights. Until we hit the hill.

You see, there are a few hills peppered throughout the course. And hills are difficult for me. Hills are my Kriptonyte. I was doing okay until we hit that first good sized hill, my breathing and heart rate went through the roof and my pace fell to a slow jog. I can usually recoup from hills fairly quickly and get my breath back, but just as I was getting back into a comfortable breathing rate and increasing my pace again . . . another hill.

And so it went for the rest of the race.

I would struggle up a hill pushing myself harder than ever, reach the top and begin to focus on my breathing and pace in order to get back on track, only to gain my composure at the bottom of another beastly hill. It was horrible. You may know that I began training for a 3 mile run long before I was part of the Club Chronicle. I have no problem covering the distance of 5 kilometers, but when you are pushing yourself and you hit your wall 3/4 of a mile back and you still have a mile to go . . . its agony. The overall time I finished didn't matter to me at all after this point. It was all about keeping up my pace, pushing myself even though I was gasping and wheezing (I probably sounded like I was dying to the runners who were passing me by). After this run (as is the case with many of my longer runs) I don't care about my time. I find pride in the fact that I kept pushing myself and I didn't slow down or stop when my body was begging me to.

I did alright overall though. Considering that the course had a few more hills than my usual route, and much larger hills than usual route, I finished with a decent time. Although it was not anywhere close to what I think I can run a (flat) 5K in, but again, considering that trail was much tougher than anything I have been training on . . . I'm content with my final time of 24 minutes.

It was a great experience though. And I am happy to hear that many of my fellow Club Chron members have intentions of carrying on with the running and Team Zen meetings. I sincerely hope that everyone sticks with it and finds half as much satisfaction in running as I have. Team Zen will continue to meet every Saturday as is has since well before the Club Chronicle. Please, if you have any inclings in joining us out there don't hesitate. Adam is one the nicest guys you could meet and Patric is a great and knowledgeable trainer. What more could you ask for? Free food . . . they got that too! Its gotta be the best way to start a new lifestyle of healthy living.

drew

The University of Southern California won the NCAA Women's College Cup on Sunday in College Station, beating top-ranked UCLA, 2-1, and then Florida State, 2-0, in the final. It was the first Final Four appearance ever by the Women of Troy. This weekend it's the NCAA men's turn, in North Carolina. The semifinals are Friday: Wake Forest vs. Virginia Tech at 4pm, Ohio State vs. Massachusetts at 6:30pm, with the final at 2pm Sunday – all live on ESPN2 and ESPNU.

North Dakota federal District Judge Daniel Hovland on Nov. 28 dismissed from his court a lawsuit brought by two local farmers seeking freedom to cultivate industrial hemp, in compliance with state law and without the looming interference of the Drug Enforcement Administration. In that way the DEA, which sought to have the suit dismissed, has won the first battle, but farmers Dave Monson and Wayne Hauge, who this week appealed that ruling to the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, intend to win the war.

The DEA’s position is rote: All forms of the plant Cannabis sativa L. are, by definition, marijuana, and marijuana is subject to the strictest of enforcement under the Controlled Substances Act. Monson, a third-generation farmer and veteran Republican state lawmaker, and Hauge, a certified-seed dealer and accountant, see things differently. They argue that they should be allowed to grow the nonnarcotic strain of the plant, commonly known as industrial hemp, which is used in a wide variety of consumer goods – from car parts to clothing, to shampoo and snack chips – pursuant to stringent state law that regulates when, where, how, and by whom, the crop can be cultivated. Notably, under state law, only strains of Cannabis sativa L. that contain less than .3% tetrahydracannibinol, or THC – the main psychoactive ingredient in pot – can be grown, a level low enough to render the plant useless as a drug.

President George Bush loves parks. He loves them so much that he's has requested a $2.363 billion budget for the National Park Service. But that mean old Congress might slash that to balance that federal budget that he also wants to make teeny-tiny. That's why, in the latest video missive from the president's dogs, Barney and Miss Beazley get to become Junior Park Rangers. Featuring cameos by Alan "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" Jackson and Tony "I used to be prime minister of a real country" Blair, the latest Barneycam is more of a Christmas gift than a Dana Perino press conference.

But is he really a big fan of the parks? The service's budget for 2001, the last financial year of the Clinton administration, was $2.292 billion. Bush has tried to claim that his administration has overseen a 20% rise in park spending since he took over the White House, but in three of his six budgets it's actually been lower than the last Clinton numbers, and it has never kept track with inflation. Worst case scenario, they should be able to pay for extra repairs with all that cash that's being generated from the unprecedented opening up of national parks to oil companies and loggers.

Still, who doesn't love a dog in a jacket?

The Astros may have jumped to Central Division faves overnight with the announcement of the acquisition of four-time All-Star shortstop Miguel Tejada. Houston had to give up five players in return but it's worth it, no doubt. They should start printing those World Series tickets right now. Here's the players Baltimore received for their superstar shortstop: outfielder Luke Scott, pitchers Matt Albers, Troy Patton and Dennis Sarfate, and third baseman Michael Costanzo. I'd say the biggest blow to the franchise is losing highly-touted pitching prospect Patton, but still a small price to pay for a player of Tejada's talent. Take a look at some of Tejada's career stats: .287 batting ave., .344 on-base pct., .477 slugging, 258 homers, 1,033 RBIs, 2002 American League MVP, and numerous other awards. I guess that leaves Adam Everett and Chris Burke on the trading block. Time to start taking a look at that bullpen.

"Cram it in" edition highlights for this Thursday, Dec. 13 meeting – the last this year.

Item 15: Changing Mala Suerte Drive to Buena Suerte Drive. OK, Suerte!

Item 16: Approving the 2008 inductees to the Austin Music Memorial, including Doug Sahm, Roy Montelongo, and Tary Owens.

Items 17,18: Brewster McCracken-boosted biotech and wireless economic development deals, vis a vis UT's Austin Technology Incubator. Sidelined a few weeks back.

Items 34-38: Acquiring five homes as part of the FEMA-affiliated Onion Creek Voluntary Flood Buyout.

By the time the crowd gathered on the Lamar Pedestrian Bridge early Sunday morning, after the last official night of Ground Zero Texas stumbled to a close, there were lots of glassy eyes and half-heartedly chugged beers and embarrassed exclamations (“I feel like I’m 16 again!”). Then, the sound of breaking glass, a cheer, and someone screaming something like "Yallsowassed!!!!"

Pissed Jeans had turned in a short, slobbering set at Beerland a few hours earlier, and live, there were even more Jesus Lizard similarities: Korvette got shirtless pretty quickly, made ugly faces, blew his nose, dumped a bottle of water down the back of his pants, and huffed and puffed like a last call drunk. Bassist Randy Huth took the somber Wm. David Sims stance, while maniacal drummer Sean McGuinness and guitarist Bradley Fry egged Korvette on through the massive “Don’t Need Smoke to Make Myself Disappear,” complete with ... a smoke machine! Die Rotzz was a no-show so ubiquitous one-man band King Louie filled in, but the night’s big surprise came from Providence, Rhode Island’s Snake Apartment, whose singer resembled a red-haired Zach Galifianakis with bad tattoos. The rest of the fest was not without cancellations and lineup jigsaws, but that's par for the course.