“I know that I don’t look it, but I can cook / I’m really pretty simple, I like what I should,” croons Kelis (Rogers) on “Floyd,” imbedded in next Tuesday’s new album Food. If her food truck tour d’Austin during South by Southwest last month was evidence of her simplistic palate, I beg to differ.

There are Easter egg hunts all over the city catering toward kids and their relentless need for candy and trinkets, but very few that cater to adults and their needs, too. And by needs, I mean carbohydrates and wine.

Queerbomb makes its end run, queer Texans win accolades for influence, and the Texas Eagle Forum pushes 19th century values, as your AggreGAYtor gets stoned in the biblical sense.

Gaming forefather and Austinite Richard Garriott has been in a nostalgic mood of late. Not only is he revisiting his trademark series, Ultima, with the upcoming release of Shroud of the Avatar, but he’s going way back for a recently announced contest.

“Yeah, I heard you can drive through Lubbock, roll down your window, and Texas Tech will throw a degree in,” said the asshole, his lips upturned in a smug smile. Immediately self-conscious, I wanted to disappear through the floor. It was 2005, at Star Bar, and it was the last time I would venture to that bar.

Call it morning presser syndrome. Although Texas open carry advocates came out in force in response to a recent South by Southwest gun control panel, only a handful congregated outside City Hall for today's Austin launch of Everytown for Gun Safety. Their only visible firearm was printed on a "Come and Take It" flag.

Thailand's Songkran festival takes its name from the Sanskrit word for "astrological passage" and commemorates the coming of the New Year. The kitchen at Sway offers an enticing list of special menu items to enhance the celebration.

There was no white smoke sighted over the Carruth Administration Center last night, but there's a new boss in town. Sort of. After trustees accepted departing Superintendent Meria Carstarphen’s resignation, the board voted to appoint Chief Schools Officer Paul Cruz as her interim replacement.

Thursday, Austin indie folk duo Dawn & Hawkes, fresh from winning over fans on The Voice with a rendition of the Beatles’ “I’ve Just Seen a Face,” appear at Lamberts. Ali Holder opens. The show folds into all the local performances that benefit SXSW Cares.