The Luv Doc: A Smokin’ Hot Cowgirlfriend
The progressive concept of bodily autonomy seems to have taken a tenacious hold on the local female populace
By The Luv Doc, Fri., Nov. 4, 2022
Dear Luv Doc,
About a month before Halloween my girlfriend told me she and her friends were going to dress up as cowgirls for Halloween. I said, "That's great! I can go as a cowboy because I already have a lot of Western clothes." She said, "That's fine, as long as my friends are OK with you being a cowboy too." She asked them the next day and said they had no problem with it. I didn't give Halloween or our costumes any thought until Saturday night when I went to her apartment to pick her up for my friend's Halloween party and she was wearing a cowboy hat, boots, really short cutoff jeans, a bikini top, and a bandana. I was like, "What cowgirl dresses like this?" She said, "I don't know. It's just a costume." I said I was expecting something more like a barrel racer than a stripper and I told her she should at least put on a shirt because my friends would all be hitting on her. We got into a big fight and she ended up putting on a skimpy T-shirt, but she was mad at me the whole night and barely talked to me. On Sunday she called me and said she thought it was best for us to go out separately on Halloween so I wouldn't get upset about her outfit. I told her I don't care what she wears on Halloween and I am not trying to control what she wears. I was just being realistic. I didn't want her dressing like that in front of my friends because I know what they're like and I knew they would give her a hard time. She said she didn't want me giving her a hard time in front of her friends and hung up and hasn't answered her phone since then. Am I in the wrong here? It seems like she's overreacting. I was just trying to protect her.
– Sad Cowboy
Well, Sad Cowboy, it appears chivalry is dead, doesn't it? Here you were just trying to protect your smokin' hot cowgirlfriend from your uncouth buddies and this is the thanks you get! It's like we're not even in Texas! Actually, to be fair, the rest of the Lone Star State refers to ATX as "The People's Republic of Austin," so maybe it shouldn't come as a huge surprise that the women around here are sassy, independent thinkers.
Regardless of the thickheaded fundamentalist leanings of the current occupant of 1010 Colorado and his knuckle-dragging flunkies, the progressive concept of bodily autonomy seems to have taken a tenacious hold on the local female populace. Who knows what insidious left-wing cabal gave Austin women the radical notion that they alone should decide what they do with their bodies? Probably antifa. Maybe George Soros or BLM? I personally blame Bobby Riggs for throwing that "Battle of the Sexes" tennis match nearly a half-century ago in 1973. Pretty sure the next day my mom decided to join NOW and started wearing those hideous polyester knit pants that said, "Fuck you, I'm done ironing ... and also ... I'm wearing the pants."
When Bobby Riggs folded like a cheap suit in front of 30,000-plus people at the Astrodome, and perhaps more importantly, on TV in front of my mom and her four sons and husband, my mom started cracking that feminist whip in our household. As I said earlier, that was 1973 – nearly half a century ago – and bodily autonomy wasn't even a new concept back then, but America, and Texas in particular, isn't exactly known for its ability to catch on quickly. We still have a disturbing number of dimwitted dudes who think their opinions about womens' bodies should actually matter. Some of them hold elected office, but their era will soon be coming to an end. The last great gasp of white male hegemony is in full exhale, and since it's election time, the air is rank with stupidity, so I can understand how an open-minded fellow like yourself might have breathed some in, but chin up, I have your respirator.
Your girlfriend is absolutely justified in being mad at you. If you're worried about your friends not being able to behave like decent, respectful human beings regardless of your girlfriend's choice of costuming, maybe you need to get new friends ... or maybe she needs to get a new boyfriend. You might also want to give her some credit for being more thick-skinned than you think she is. If she needs your protection, she'll let you know. The important thing to remember is that it's up to her to decide, so cowboy up and let her be the best cowgirl she can be.
