The Luv Doc: Welsh

Dear Luv Doc,

Me and my girlfriend split up during the holidays. It was a long time coming, We have different lifestyles. She is much more social than I am and not very career-driven. Basically the whole time together she was bouncing around between low-paying service industry jobs that she always complained about, which created some strain on our relationship. Last fall I loaned her money to make three months worth of car payments with the understanding that she would pay me back. It was a cash loan and I don't have any written record of it, obviously, but I know she knows she is supposed to pay me back. Well, since we broke up, I can't even get her to pick up the phone to even talk about it. I know she has a good, steady job now from her Facebook posts, so she could at least begin to pay me back, but like I said ... nothing. I was the one who initiated the breakup, and my friends are telling me I am shit out of luck, but that doesn't seem right. Am I crazy to expect to be repaid?

– Welched

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First of all, variant spelling aside, I think it's important for me to point out that the "Welch" are a proud people and undeserving of the derogatory verb with which they have been historically saddled. How do I know they're proud? Here's how: Wales has a town named Llanfairpwll-gwyngyllgogerychwyrndrob-wllllantysiliogogogoch. No, my Nembutal did not just kick in. That is the real name of a town. It's a station just after you cross the Menai Strait on the train ride to the ferry that takes you from Holyhead to Dublin. It has a nicely painted sign with a pronunciation guide – presumably for linguistic masochists. Anyway, the point is that it takes a lot of pride to stick with a name like that, especially when it makes such a strong case for an easier language like Mandarin. Furthermore, how could the Welsh be stingy when they're so generous with their consonants? It just don't make no damn sense. The generosity of the Welsh clearly knows no bounds.

Judging by the content of your missive, I am guessing you're not Welsh. First of all, you used a whopping 294 vowels versus only 484 consonants. Nearly 38% of your letters were vowels. Compare that to the 22% vowel usage in Llanfairpwll-gwyngyllgogerychwyrndrob-wllllantysiliogogogoch and you'll realize you're spreading vowels around like you're a Hawaiian tour guide. No shame in that game. In fact, it might mean that you're as generous as a Welshman, but also laid back like a Hawaiian. If so, what a wonderful combination! Aloha!

If you haven't already cozied up to the idea of being a generous person, now might be a good time. While it would be foolish of me to unilaterally declare that there is no way in hell your ex is ever going to pay you back, at the very least we can assume she isn't going to pay you back on your timetable. I think it's safe to say that as a lowly paid service industry worker, she probably wasn't making payments on a Lambo. Most likely she's into you for something short of two grand. If she's paying off a Kia, it's less than half that amount. Yes, that's a significant amount of money, but it's not enough money to lose sleep over – nor should you.

So here's my advice: Let it go. You broke up with her, so you broke up with her debt as well. If you had decided to stay in the relationship, you could have perhaps hammered out a repayment schedule with reasonable terms, but now that you're broken up, that debt is just an annoying thing that's keeping you both from moving on with your lives. Trust me, you need that boat anchor even less than you need the actual money. Call her up, wish her well, and tell her to forget about the money. It might not change her feelings toward you, but I guarantee it will change the way you feel about yourself.