This Is Not a Gay Column

If you need that spelled out any more clearly – or even if you totally get it – go to the annual AIDS Candlelight Memorial Service. Your mind will be blown, your soul will be stirred, and you might just be surprised. And, um, you don't have to be gay (see Sunday).

ON OUR GAYDAR

PFLAG South Monthly Meeting Family is nice; allied family is love. Second Thursdays, 6:30-9pm. Faith Presbyterian Church, 1314 E. Oltorf, 512/444-1314. Free.

Emma When You Need Her Rudy Ramirez directs this Shrewd Productions and Vortex Repertory celebration of the one and only Emma Goldman – and boy, do we need her. Thu.-Sat., May 14-16, 8pm. The Vortex, 2307 Manor Rd., 512/478-5282. $10-30. www.fb.com/shrewds.austin.

Patrice Pike Take a hike, and see the Pike. Thursdays, 8-10pm. Saxon Pub, 1320 S. Lamar. www.fb.com/patricepikeband.

Free HIV/STD Testing Know your status! Tuesdays, 1-4pm & 8-11pm & Fridays, 1-4pm. Midtowne Spa, 5815 Airport, 512/302-9696. www.midtowne.com.

After Dark: Hunter Valentine Toronto huntresses land in Austin to stalk your affections. Fri., May 15, 7pm-12mid. Tiniest Bar in Texas, 817 W. Fifth. $15-25. www.fb.com/huntervalentine.

SCRUFF Invades Austin One night, two scruffy parties: First, head over to the 'Bear for happy hour hosted by Johnny Scruff and the Scruff team. Then get ready to blow it out grrrrr-style with DJs Ben Baker (NYC) and Seth Breezy (ATL) at OCH. Happy hour, 8pm; WOOF Dance, 10pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth; Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth. www.scruff.com.

Milonga Queer in Austin I dip, you dip, we dip. Third Fridays, 9:15pm-1am. Go Dance, 2525 W. Anderson. $10, bring partner/friend for free. www.danielaarcuri4tango.com/queer-tango.

Hail Yasss: Courtney Love Arcie Cola, Kitty Buick, Louisianna Purchase, Sylvia Divinorum, Zane Zena, Franzia Black Out, DJ Young Creature, and a "Hole" lot more. Fri., May 15, 10pm. Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River, 512/474-1084. $5. www.fb.com/poopooatx.

Highland Fridays Take a dip. Fridays, 10:30pm. Highland Lounge, 404 Colorado. Free. www.highlandlounge.com.

Liberace & Doodles Weaver B-DAY Celebration Dennis Campa and Taylor Cage (from Austin's Queer Waves) pay tribute to Doodles (Sigourney's unc) and Lee (you know Lee). Tune in, Mary. Sat., May 16, 1-2pm. KOOP 91.7FM, www.koop.org.

¡Pachanga! Latino Music Festival Not only is this a warm and welcoming environment, filled with music that will knock you out (plus, comfort classics courtesy of Austin's Selena tribute, Bidi Bidi Banda), but Puro Chingon Collective will offer Chingozine #5. Sat., May 16. Fiesta Gardens, 2100 Jesse E. Segovia St. $39-79; Chingozines, $5. www.pachangafest.com, www.purochingoncollective.com.

Nepantla: Homenaje a Gloria E. Anzaldúa Dozens of artists honor the beloved UT queer/Chicana writer/theorist (This Bridge Called My Back). Reception, Sat., May 16, 4pm; show runs through May 30. La Peña, 227 Congress #300.

BPM Saturdays DJ BigFace and Boys of ATX prance and pace. Saturdays, 9pm. Highland Lounge, 404 Colorado. Free.

Long Center Purple Party After the Blues Brothers (the real ones, with Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi), will you have it in you for an afterparty with T-Bird & the Breaks? Sat., May 16, 8pm. Long Center for the Performing Arts, 701 W. Riverside. $55-145. www.thelongcenter.org.

Craft It Like a Queerbomb All good ATX-Qs are readying for the visual smorgasbord of provocative pageantry known as Queerbomb – a community procession for all to join, hoist placards, unfurl banners, and dangle life-sized puppets, et al. But all those ginormous glitter Qs and Qnicorns don't make themselves. Conceive of your sign and determine your signifiers for the big march in June. Come craft queerly. Or queer craftily. Bring supplies (glitter, glitter, glitter) to share, care bear. Sun., May 17, noon-4pm. Cheer Up Charlies, 900 Red River. Free.

AIDS Candlelight Memorial Service A theatrical piece entitled "Extracted," by ARCOS Dance; a song, "Not a Day Goes By," soulfully delivered by Hedda Layne; and instrumental classical music tributes performed by Brett Bachus, along with an array of distinguished speakers highlight this year's service. Light a candle to honor those lost, to support those currently living with HIV/AIDS, and to illuminate awareness. Sun., May 17, 7pm. Republic Square Park, 422 Guadalupe. www.candlelightmemorial.org, www.fb.com/the16thannualaidscandlelightmemorialservice.

Amaris Ortiz: Fundraiser for Change Bring awareness to Trans* reality and support Amaris on the next part of his journey with cash bar, live music, food, and exciting door prizes. Sun., May 17, 7pm. The Driskill Hotel, 604 Brazos. www.gofundme.com/amarisortiz.

Planet Fabulous Karaoke Karaoke's grande dame is back and humpin' for Hump Day at the 'Bear. Wednesdays, 9:30pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free. [email protected].

Free Buffet It's about time someone served up some yummy free grub all week long to soak up all those drink specials. Mon.-Fri., 5-7pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. Free.

Queerdalini Yoga for those who'd prefer to focus on chi rather than he or she. Mondays, 7:30pm. Soma Vida, 1210 Rosewood, 512/628-1580. $5+ donations encouraged. [email protected], www.fb.com/groups/qyogaaustin.

Karaoke Night Croon and swoon in the land of the baying Bobcats. Meoooooow! Mondays, 9pm. Stonewall Warehouse, 141 E. Hopkins, San Marcos. www.fb.com/stonewallwarehouse.

TuezGayz Dependably fruitastic: Austin's legendary weekly weekday gay night on Red River. Tuesdays, 9pm. Barbarella, 615 Red River. www.fb.com/barbarella.austin.9.

Julie Nolen Fans of JFN (Julie Freakin'Fricken' Fuggin' Nolan) know what's up. Tue., May 19, 10:30pm. One-2-One Bar, 1509 S. Lamar. www.julienolen.com.

Queer Ride Check the QR Facebook group for up-to-date details on meeting spots and stops of this weekly ride. Wednesdays, 7pm; wheels on the ground, 7:30pm. Free. www.fb.com/groups/qratx.

Paul van Dyk PvD in the place to be. Thu., May 21, 9pm-2am. Vulcan Gas Company, 418 E. Sixth. $21. [email protected], www.soundcloud.com/paulvandykofficial.

"Iconic Musicians/The Smiths & Friends" Photos by Stephen Wright. In addition to mopey Mo' and pals, there's more, including New Order, Madonna, Miles Davis, Prince, and more. Show runs through May 23. Modern Rocks Gallery, Bldg 3, #103, 512/524-1488. Free. www.modernrocksgallery.com.

HO-RIZON

Mr. & Miss Austin Pride Pageant 2015 Who will represent Austin Pride this year? Who will win the title and perform on the main stage in front of thousands at Austin Pride in late August? You? You? You? Time to enter and win. Kelly Kline hosts and RuPaul's Raven makes a special guest appearance. Wed., June 3, 10pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth. Free. www.austinpride.org.