Gay Place: Perf/Art Faggotry

Dynasty Handbag performs at the North Door (see Saturday). (Photo by Kate X Messer)

Ya can't swing a pussy ... cat in this town without hitting performance art. This week, a couple of great events only increase your chances.

ON OUR GAYDAR

ASA'S DOWNTON IN AUSTIN Yes, Downton as in Abbey, and ASA as in AIDS Services of Austin. We're running laps upstairs and downstairs for this free luncheon to benefit the Women Rising Project. Thu., April 18, 11:30am. Hyatt Regency, 208 Barton Springs Rd., 406-6113. Free; RSVP required. www.asaustin.org.

TEXAS EXES HAPPY HOUR Bevo or be 'mo, all are welcome at this happy time. Thu., April 18, 5pm. Firehouse Lounge, 605 Brazos, 210-2522.

AGLCC HAPPY HOUR Mingle with Austin's swingin' gay chamber. Third Thursdays, 6:30pm. Great Outdoors, 2730 Congress. Free. [email protected], www.aglcc.org.

CANDY ROYALLE AT ARTIVISM Queer Poetry of Color! Welcome Aussie spitter Royalle to town along with guest poets Toi Scott, Morgan Robyn Collado, Kimberly Alidio. Thu., April 18, 7pm. Stompin' Grounds Coffee & Cocktail Lounge, 3801 S. Congress #116, 394-6999. Free, $10 donation. www.candyroyalle.com.

STOP HITTING YOURSELF 1930s Hollywood hullabaloo with Paul Soileau. Thu.-Sun., April 18-21, 8pm. The Off Center, 2211-A Hidalgo, 476-7833. $5-25.

THE CRISCO DISCO Throwback to the elbows-deep days of original oonce-oonce. DJs Mouthfeel and Divorcee cue up numbers that glittered way before they were but mere twinkles off their daddies' Italian Horn necklaces. Fri., April 19, 9pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823.

EAST SIDE HOMO HOP Paypal now to get on this mega-bear, multi-haus hop. If a bear poots around on a Segway, and no one is there to see it, does the Pope still enjoy group sex in the woods? Sat., April 20, noon. $20. [email protected].

BEFIXT 2013 A performance/site specific 10-hour art installation by ia. There goes Cheer Ups deconstructing your ass. We don't know either: Just go! Sat., April 20, 4pm-2am. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth, 431-2133. [email protected].

DYNASTY HANDBAG: LIVE HEART FAILURES Eternal Quadrangle puts NYC performance art diva DH in the middle of a dating game of four contestants "vying for a spot in her vast cosmic emptiness." Whoa. How shall she choose to fill her void? Sat., April 20. The North Door, 502 Brushy, 485-3011. $12. www.fuseboxfestival.com.

HANKYSHAME AND AB SOTO The Shame DJs reinvent the hanky code with new meanings for old colors. The potential for mash-up misunderstandings doubles the sexy. And hey, if you're color-blind, gray stands for bondage. Sat., April 20, 9pm. The North Door, 502 Brushy, 485-3011. www.facebook.com/shamecollective.

HANKY PANKY PARTY If the arty hanky party at the North Door is confusing, these bears are sticking to the old school signifiers. Sat., April 20, 9pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free.

WORKOUT! RICHARD SIMMONS/ERICA NIX PREMIERE You seen the teases on Facebook, now work out alongside local spandexcize legend Erica Nix to none other than Richard Simmons new workout DVD (in which our ginger peach is featured). Big screen, big hair, big kicks, big -oo-s, and big sweat! Sun., April 21, 2pm. Spider House Ballroom, 2906 Fruth, 480-9562.

POETRY READING Julene Tripp Weaver and Allyson Whipple weave and whip words for you. Sun., April 21, 3:30pm. BookWoman, 5501 N. Lamar Ste. 105-A, 472-2785.

G SPOT WORKSHOP Hit it! Or at least learn how to try. Julie Sunday will "show" you how. Sun., April 21, 6pm. Q Toys, 6800 Burnet, 772-1614. Free; suggested donation of $10 to benefit the Lilith Fund.

RUPAUL'S CARMEN CARRERA Drag Race diva joins the cast of OCH's Super Sunday Diva Show. Sunday, 10:30pm & 12mid. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823. www.logosrupaulsdragrace.wikia.com/wiki/Carmen_Carrera.

POLARI AT PFLAG-GEORGETOWN Austin's gay film fest artistic director Curran Nault will speak to our parents and friends. Fourth Mondays, 6:45-9pm. Independent Bank Community Room, 1503 Rivery, Georgetown. www.pflagaustin.org.

LISTEN TO OUTCAST! Tweak your knobs to Stephen Rice and pals. Tuesdays, 6-7pm. KOOP Radio 91.7FM. www.koop.org, www.outcastaustin.com.

BELLY DANCE AND ISOLATIONS WITH HERCULISE Relaxed, body-positive, queer friendly. Tuesdays, 7:30-9pm. Rosewood Recreation Center, 2300 Rosewood. $60 for four weeks, or $15 drop-in fee per class. [email protected].

LADIES NIGHT DJ BJ spins the early shift before the bands take over. Wednesdays, DJ 6pm; live bands 10pm. Stompin' Grounds Coffee & Cocktail Lounge, 3801 S. Congress #116, 394-6999.

GAY PLACE WANTS YOUR FACE Start sending in copyright-friendly promo art with your listings and we will post them online! Who knows, yours may end up in print! See contact info in black box below.

HO-RIZON

1 OF 1,000 Aww, honey, you're one in a million if you become a friend of TENT, our state's main voice of trans advocacy. Membership drive through May 9. Transgender Education Network of Texas, 877/532-6789. $10. [email protected], www.transtexas.org.

HCRA NEEDS ZOMBIES ... and clowns ... and gorillas. Ready for Halloween six months too early? Consider previewing your genius costume (or recycling last year's) and offer relief to the noble bike riders of this year's Hill Country Ride for AIDS. Contact Roger for details. Sat., April 27. [email protected], www.thecarecommunities.org.

NUDE FEAST Austin Gay Nudists is barely hosting a potluck (with barbecue chicken provided) for the gay/bi male, clothing-not-an-option set. Interested? Shed your inhibitions (and your unmentionables), and get in touch. Sat., April 27, 7-11pm. A member's house. Contact through website for details. www.agntx.org.