Gay Place: MO FLOAT

Last week was sunning at Barton. This week, Lez Go Tubing in New Braunfels – you and about a million queers.

ON OUR GAYDAR

AGLCC TURNS 15 It all happens on the Mayor's balcony, free and open to the public. Celebrate 15 years with noshies from gay chamber members, plus the searing sounds of sassy songstress Jacinta and some saturnalian spins from DJs Fine & Dandy with Kate & Andy. Thu., June 21, 5:30-8pm. Austin City Hall, 301 W. Second, 974-2220. Free. www.aglcc.org.

STEAK NIGHT at a gay bar? That's as American as baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet. Thursdays, 6-8pm. Town N Country, 1502 W. Ben White, 445-9122. $8/meal.

B.E.T.C.H. FEST Ahhhh, the feel of carcinogenic toner on fingertips. Come thrash with our deliriously delightful Thunder Cunts from Hell, and 11 bands, including Bottle Service, the French Inhales, Guantanamo Baywatch, Tom Grrrl, and more. Fri., June 22, 7pm. Spider House 29th St. Ballroom, 2906 Fruth, 480-9562. $5 suggested donation. www.facebook.com/betch.atx.

FELCH We're speechless. Really, what more can we add to a description than that? How about Masochist Monkey Circus, S.I.R., Ropes by Peter, Kitty Litter, DJ Kelly, Jaycub the gogo bear, and your emcee Scott Pitts, all to benefit the Leather Archives & Museum in Chicago? Fri., June 22, 10pm. Chain Drive, 504 Willow, 480-9017.

FANTASY'S INTERPRETIVE FUNK CIRCUS Little Stolen Moments, Masochist Monkey Circus, Total Unicorn, and a special appearance by Fantasy aka Stanley Roy. Sat., June 23, 9:30pm. Skinny's Ballroom, 115 San Jacinto, 476-1962. $5. www.cdbaby.com/cd/stanleyroy1.

JULIE NOLEN CROONS FOR YOU Two sets. Sat., June 23, 9pm. Strange Brew Austin Coffee, 5326 Manchaca Rd., 828-7636. www.tellingstoriesmusic.com.

LEZ GO TUBING Last year's was amazing, albeit a bit of a human flesh clusterf*ck (seriously, gays as far as the eye could see), but how else would you like your Lez Go adventure? Pristine and serene? You've got the rest of the homophobic state for that, baby. The Guad is still low, so it's the Comal again, and you can wave to everyone at Schlitterbahn. Sun., June 24, noon-7pm. Corner of South Liberty Avenue and East San Antonio Street, New Braunfels, 800/572-2626, 830/608-2160. www.watertherules.com/rules.php, www.cornertubes.com.

OY YOGA It's Jewish with a queer bent or queer with a Jewish bent. Either way, you won't get bent, you'll get strrrrrretched into some fabulousness. Pick your power: Night Light (Sundays, 8:30pm), Go Flow (yoga and dance, Mondays, 7:30pm), or Salute the Sun (Wednesdays, 8am). Soma Vida, 1210 Rosewood, 628-1580. $8-10 sliding scale. www.facebook.com/oyyoga.

BEARADISE GARAGE One hairy heaven! DJ CBass keeps you lubed up with the Crisco disco. Sundays, 4-10pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free. www.soundcloud.com/bearadise, www.theironbear.com.

LESLIE FEST 2012 There's a giant heart-shaped hole in Texas, and it wears a thong. It's where our beloved Leslie used to be. Come celebrate the life and lasciviousness to benefit Hospice Austin's Christopher House. Sun., June 24, 4pm. Lipstick24, 606 E. Seventh, 474-2950. $10; $7, if you dress up.www.twitter.com/lesliefest.

CINEMA EAST: GAYBY The feature based on the award-winning short. Gay-by ... What do you think it's about? Producer Anne Hubbell has some "A"s to your "Q"s. Sun., June 24, 8-11pm. Yellow Jacket Stadium, 1156 Hargrave St. $3. www.facebook.com/cinemaeast.

PROPOSE A TOAST(MASTER) Come finesse your public speaking and communication skills. Second and fourth Mondays, 6pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh, 482-9002. www.aglcc.org/toastmasters.

TUESDAYS TOGETHER This last-Tuesday-of-every-month event will be held this month at this most delectable stop on Sixth Street. The last Tuesday of the month, 6:30-8:30pm. parkside, 301 E. Sixth, 474-9898. Free. [email protected], www.hrc.org/austin.

COUNTRY NIGHT Second and fourth Wednesdays of the month, 9pm. Chain Drive, 504 Willow, 480-9017. Free.

LIZZY CAROLOKE Karaoke is for queers. B'duh. Wednesdays, 8pm-12mid. Bernadette's, 2039 Airport. Free.

OCCUPY AUSTIN OCCUQUEERS MEETING Every other Wednesday, 5-6:30pm. The Q, 3408 West, 420-8557. Free.

QUEER RIDE Search Team ProHomo on Facebook for up-to-date details. Wednesdays, 7pm. Free. www.facebook.com/AustinTPH.

SHITTY KITTY BIG BALL BINGO Ms. Rebecca Havemeyer may not be a chicken, but she sure can cluck. Last Wednesdays of the month, 9:30pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth, 494-1150.

FULLY COMMITTED WILDE PARTY Martin Burke x 39! You're invited to a special LGBT preshow reception. Thu., Jun 28, catered reception, 6:45pm; show, 8pm. Zach Theatre, 1510 Toomey, 476-0541 x1. Single event or season tickets available. www.zachtheatre.org.

STONEWALL RALLY The past, present, and future all inform each other. Gather with the Austin Gay and Lesbian Pride Foundation and other groups on the south steps to learn and create our history. Plus performances by Mr. & Miss Austin Pride 2011. Thu., June 28, 7pm. Texas Capitol, 1100 Congress, 305-8400. Free. www.facebook.com/Austin.PRIDE.Official.

STONEWALL RALLY OFFICIAL AFTERPARTY Thu., June 28, 10pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823. Free. www.oilcanharrys.com.

22 MAJOR ARCANA Local photog Joie Rey Cohen shot a buncha locals and now they can tell your fortune. Yup: It's a local tarot deck by way of art exhibition. We see lots of staring in your future. Through June 30. Butterfly Bar at the Vortex, 2307 Manor Rd.. Free. www.photosbyjoierey.com.