Luv Doc Recommends: Extravagasm Fantasy Ball

If you woke up this morning with the vague feeling that life is getting too monotonous, tedious, and … well … normal, rest easy; the freak season is just around the corner. Pretty soon every frustrated fine arts major with a bag of dyed feathers and a hot glue gun will be whipping up some spectacularly impractical getup – the type of costume that can only safely be viewed through beer/welding goggles, the type of costume that would’ve made Liberace blush, the type of costume that falls apart long before the sobbing, drunken cab ride home. The wax melts. Icarus plunges into the sea. All that. Here’s the thing: Everyone at some time or another wants to slough off their mortal coil and become something else – something bigger, bolder, and brighter than themselves. Used to be people dropped acid, but they quickly learned that Timothy Leary's shit-eating grin didn’t earn them any brownie points with management. Folks who didn’t live in a van down by the river had to find a transformational experience that didn’t drop in unexpectedly like a drunken uncle. So, perhaps inevitably, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds gave way to Lucy in Disguise, South Congress, where you can get your freak on and still get it back off – and with relatively few side effects other than the occasional polyester chafe. Transformation doesn’t come without its costs. Now that the weather has turned cooler, the alabaster-hued leather and latex-lover types will be emerging from their sarcophagi in full regalia. As you might imagine, the S&M crowd aren’t usually the kind of people who are into things like ball sports – well, maybe if you expand your definition to include balls that come with straps and buckles – but they are pretty much into ballin’. Who isn’t, right? And there’s nothing wrong with adding a little pomp and pageantry to your sex life. In fact, there are a lot of people who think of sex as something for which to get dressed, rather than undressed. Those people will be out in full force at Buffalo Billards’ Orbit Lounge this Saturday for Extravagasm 2005, a cleverly titled event celebrating “everything sexy, daring and slightly kinky.” Bet your assless chaps that “slightly” was worked in by the marketing department. For the average Joan, this event is likely to peak the freak meter, but a good peaking is nice every now and then. If you do get the gumption to go, you’ll get to see fetish performances, an exhibition of erotic art, slideshows, DJ’s and sextacular performances by local acts like Kitty Kitty Bang Bang Burlesque, Satan’s Cheerleaders, and Whips for Tips – exactly the kind of stuff that will impress your co-workers at the water cooler on Monday – at least as much as that shit-eating acid grin.