Luv Doc Recommends: Texas State Footbag Championships

OK, so you’ve tried it all. You’ve cruised the supermarket vegetable aisle and patiently, lovingly fondled the more moderately sized zucchinis, or maybe the saran-wrapped O’Keefe style cantaloupe halves. You’ve performed a modestly seductive pole dance on the bus for that cute but scruffy-looking slacker who was too cool to notice. You washed your roommate’s dog, tied a bandana around his neck, and took him out to the park for a spirited Frisbee-fetching session. You squeezed into your ass-hugging, camel-toeing suction pants/skimpy, gossamer, billowy fluorescent jogging shorts for a hot, sweaty jog around Town Lake. You pumped away several hours and gallons of fluid on the Stairmaster at the gym, hoping someone would take notice of your rock-hard “glutes.” You took ballroom dance/tango/swing lessons until the instructor started talking about “more commitment.” You joined AA, Overeaters Anonymous, a narcolepsy support group, took cooking lessons at Central Market, played bingo at the church, air-dried your sexiest lingerie at the Washateria and when times got really, really desperate, went to happy hour at Cool River (which, when you think about it, is just a short hop from the sauna at Sun City). You’ve proved your commitment, your mettle, your moxie, but have you really taken it to the limit? What is the limit? It could be this weekend’s Texas State Footbag Championships out at the Barton and Jaycee Fields on Robert E. Lee Road behind Zilker Park. If you’re expecting a bunch of hot young college students from San Marcos, well, uh … swing and a miss, but if you dig Hacky Sack (and really, why wouldn’t you?), this might just be your ticket to paradise. Until Austin starts hosting a pogo stick invitational, the TSFC might just be the wackiest, nerdiest event in Austin. But that’s cool, because just about everybody has a little nerd in them. Own it. Get comfortable with it, and then mack out with your sack out. The TSFC is one of the longest running tournaments in the sport(?) of footbag and draws competitors from all over Texas. Events include footbag net, footbag freestyle, footbag golf, footbag four-square, and … well, you get the idea: a whole mess of bag kicking. So there’s that, or maybe the sauna out at Sun City – either way you’re bound to see a lot of leathery bags. At last … the limit.