Luv Doc Recommends: Central Texas Parrot Head Club’s Pirate’s Ball

Now matter how you spin it, Texas is not a pastel state. Leave the muted watercolor renderings to environments less extreme … somewhere in the mellow Midwest … or maybe on the East Coast where they drape a sweater over their shoulders for a walk on the beach … or perhaps Santa Barbara, a place so mild they actually named a soap opera after it. Pastels hang out on lawns, at garden parties, afternoon teas, and Easter egg hunts. In fact, Easter is its own little pastel hell. Interesting that a holiday of such gentle hues was born of such a baroque blend of blood and suffering. Spring may be the season of birth and rebirth, but with mammalian birth, the color scheme more closely resembles a scene from Caligula than a painting by Renoir. Apparently rebirth isn’t much better with the crown of thorns, the scourgings, and the crucifixion. Thanks Mel, we were having trouble with the visual. Down here in the hot crotch of America, spring lasts just long enough to drag the Day-Glo out of the swimsuit drawer. Sure, we have our muted tones, but only because they have been bleached by the sun. Otherwise, it’s hot, hot, hot … spicy even. Red like a pepper, green like a pepper, yellow like a pepper. You get the idea. Pastels are an import, rode in on the fat, pink back of European culture … a culture that somehow managed in the last two millennia to swap out the blood, pain, and anguish of Easter with fluffy bunnies and painted eggs. If Jesus was nailed to a cross for pastels, it was surely a life wasted. Fortunately for us, we only get pastels one Sunday a year (not counting the odd baby shower), and even that can be too much. This weekend, before you plunge into pastel hell, give yourself a splash of color at the Central Texas Parrot Head Club’s Pirate’s Ball at Johnny Fins on Lake Travis. That’s right, Central Texas has a Parrot Head Club, those rowdy, florally festooned followers of Jimmy Buffett, author of beach anthem “Margaritaville” and other salty classics. No doubt the Parrot Heads are involved in all kinds of worthwhile civic projects, but mostly they’re people who like to wear loud tropical prints and drink a lot while dancing, or maybe it’s the other way around. Either way, it’s a recipe for a good time regardless of how you feel about Jimmy Buffett, who, by the way, won’t actually be there for the party, but that’s not the point, is it? Saturday night Nederwald, Texas, resident Jerry Diaz will take the place of Jimmy along with his band Hanna’s Reef, who assumably will be taking the place of the Coral Reefer band. Nitpick all you want, but after two or three rum and cokes, you probably won’t be able to tell the difference. Don’t worry, you can expect most of the other pirates and Parrot Heads to be three sheets to the wind as well, so it’s a good thing there’s a fajita buffet to go with all of the Jimmy Buffett. There will also be a taxi and accommodations available at the Mountain Star Lodge for those who get lucky or drunk or both.