Public Notice

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If You Wear That Velvet Dress

Should you find, this Wednesday, Feb. 14, the feast of that damn pesky St. Valentine, that you have a disposable flow of cash to waste on a loved one, might we impose for a moment and suggest a few things that we might do, were we in your comfy slippers, and thereby at least experience some pathetic stitch of vicarious thrill through your dumb luck, if but for one day? Do you mind? Will you allow us? Humor us?

Okay, first, it's important to set the scene. And sorry, flowers and chocolate just won't cut it -- at least not alone and not in the traditional sense. A blue iris, yellow freesia, strelitzia, they all die, and chocolate ... well, okay, chocolate is god. Yeah. Chocolate is good. Go with chocolate. But if you want to make more of a lasting impression than a few extra brown smudgies on the sheets and more than a few extra pounds on your already ample lover, then you must go beyond the wrapped and boxed fray and take a chance that your relationship is going to survive the month. Slip an extra treat in that box of goo and get sweetie pie and you a coupla tickets to A Chocolate Fantasy & Fine Art Auction to be held Saturday, March 3, 8:30pm-midnight (three and a half hours of cocoa indulgence -- we hope that they'll have at least a paramedic and one of those portable resuscitators on hand) at the regal Texas Federation of Women's Clubs Mansion at 2312 San Gabriel. The affair will benefit Waterloo Counseling Center, and we'll have more details as the date creeps a tad closer. Call Book Woman, Sparks, El Taller Gallery, Spirit Echoes Gallery, or Waterloo Counseling for tix. 444-9922.

While flowers are fine and dandy, they are a crappy reminder of all sorts of mortality issues just by virtue of the fact that they are ripped from their life-sustaining limbs only to serve as your own personal Cyrano de Bergerac. Crappier still is when the flowers outlast the relationship. We've had that happen -- all that "dying on the vine" stuff. That sucks. So, instead of flowers -- unless of course you plan to cover your bed and your naked naughties in rose petals like on last week's episode of Malcolm in the Middle, that's always cool -- consider the humanmade version of the delicate flower: art. And might we recommend one of our local favorites? Liz Guenthner is showing and selling at the Fruits of Our Youth series at Out Youth to benefit Out Youth this Friday, Feb. 9, 6-9pm. www.lizonline.com or www.outyouth.com or 419-1233.

While we can't vouch for this product firsthand, we are intrigued. They say that they'll donate a percentage of sales to the national version of CASA -- Court Appointed Special Advocates. Consciousness in a Can is just that: a can full of witticisms, sayings, quotes ... what have you. It's a pretty can, well-designed, and the quotes within even seem fairly thoughtful and not your run of the mill. They have a special Love & Romance Edition for -- you guessed it -- St. Valentine's Day. That's as far as we can go with a recommendation, however, without actually holding one in our hands. www.consciousnessinacan.com or www.nationalcasa.org or 877/778-3100.

Why wait until la Día de las Enamorados proper? Why not kick off the smooch- and grind-a-thon this Friday, Feb. 9 at the Tu Solo Tu Baile de Amor 2001, the annual love dance sponsored by and benefiting ALLGO -- Austin Latino/Latina Lesbian Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Organization? It all happens at the Red Lion Hotel, 61211 N. I-35 (@290), 9pm-1am. They've been doing it for a sweet 16 years now, and we can attest to the fact that it is quite the throwdown, featuring the best in salsa, merengue, tejano, hip-hop, and old-school. Pre-sale tickets are available at Book Woman, Lobo, and ALLGO for $20. Tickets at the door jump to $30. www.allgo.org or 472-2001.

Those wild and wooly church ladies, the Austin Babtist Women, offer another opportunity to get your Valentine on a bit early, with their special Valentine's Show at Dick's Deja Disco, 113 San Jacinto, this coming Monday, Feb. 12. Peter the Adequate starts the night off with his magic show at 8:30pm. Admission is free; the buffet is free; what more could you want? How about knowing that any donation you do cough up will go to a good cause? All dough raised will benefit the everlovin' programs at Project Transitions. www.abw.homepage.com or 457-8010.