Page Two

One morning following the opening weekend of the SXSW Film Festival, I opened the Austin American-Statesman and was as depressed as I have been in the past couple of years. As successful as the opening weekend of SXSW had been, Michael Corcoran's Statesman gossip column that morning contained a cheap and uncalled for shot at SXSW. I'm used to these. Corky specializes in the cheap shot, and SXSW and the Chronicle are often targets. This time the shot was especially ugly. Corcoran dissed the Lawrence Wright-scripted Noriega: God's Favorite. Being fairly film ignorant, Corcoran missed that this was a rich black comedy, and he offhandedly trashed a movie The Hollywood Reporter, Variety, and Time would have only kind words about (and that's putting it mildly). I wished 10 plagues upon his house. I cursed him in front of my wife and child. After all, Corcoran and I are old friends, and it was his stint at the Chronicle that first garnered him fame. But Corky likes screwing his friends more than his enemies. This was one of many, many times I have begun the day with a rant against Corcoran.

Which is why my wife found it so perplexing that when we heard the news that Corcoran had lost his column, I was unhappy instead of joyous. At first, we heard he was fired, and then later learned he had been suspended.

This is an exciting idea: Suspend a biting gossip columnist, and then give him his column back. Thus chastened, what is he going to write about? How many cookies the Tarrytown Girl Scouts sold, or who wore what to the Dells' last party?

If you hire a gossip columnist, have the courage to stand behind him. Even when he makes an idiot of himself. There were days I loathed the column with a pure hatred and a holy righteousness. And I was right -- Corky was being a totally unspeakable asshole. I have serious problems with the column, which I would love to go into. But the idea behind a paper isn't to have everyone nodding their heads in rhythm as they read. Corky's column caused trouble. Often I hated him for it. But you know, every Tuesday and Saturday it was the first thing I read in the Statesman.

There's a much longer column that demands to be written on this, and I'm going to write it. But a death in the family has put a dark blanket over most things. Check us out next week.