Beside the Point

"Dear Toby," leads the letter to City Manager Toby Futrell from Paul Robbins, consumer advocate, environmentalist, and sand in City Council's Vaseline. Robbins grinds on, "Regarding the use of City Hall Chambers for press conferences, I have several points about our conversation last Thursday [during Citizens Communications]. First, quit smirking at me. You may be beautiful when you're angry, but not when you smirk!"

We guess that's what's known as a backhanded compliment.

In case you've (understandably) missed it, since the new City Hall opened, Robbins has been on a quest to reclaim the chambers, letting citizens use them for announcements and events, sans official endorsement. At today's meeting (Thursday), Robbins and several friends are signed up to again make the case. To hear him tell it, public announcements in council chambers were "nothing" (i.e., no problem) in City Hall's previous two-part incarnation (council offices in one building, chambers in a separate annex). "I can't count the times it's happened. But when the new City Hall was opened in late 2004, this custom quietly went away. I began to openly question why and was entangled in – gasp! – bureaucracy. It was almost robotic."

(Robbins' voice quivers into a trembly, Lost in Space timbre.) "We-do-not-allow-citizens-to-use-City-Hall," he reports, was the official response. Rebuffed, the RobbinsBot 3000 brought the issue before council. Analyzing business hours from January to March 2006, he concluded council chambers were only booked 32% of the time – but gunning against some of the chambers' other guests did him few favors. "The Girl Scouts reserved the chambers for 75 minutes for a building tour. Consider citizens. I have been an activist in Austin for almost 30 years. I am writing part of an energy policy for Austin during a period when energy prices are high and environmental damage looms large. I want to distribute it free to the public. And I cannot get the same time as the Girl Scouts' building tour? Council candidates cannot use this chamber to explain their stands on issues regarding a $2 billion budget. But there is time for Girl Scouts. Glad we have our priorities."

Too bad he didn't consider the synergistic possibilities. Thin Ozone Mints? Caramel Corruption Crunch?

This was followed by his letter to Futrell – which evoked a thoroughly smirkless response. "This is the first time I have been accused of smirking," she responds. "Since I hate the smirk on Bush's face, I can assure you I was not trying to smirk – and I was not aware you thought I was smirking – in fact, I did not know that I had any expression on my face (or thoughts in my heart) that resembled a smirk. It is also the first time anyone has said I was beautiful when I was angry – factually or factitiously. For what that is worth." While empathetic to Robbins' pleas (the less charitable might say suffering them gladly), Futrell concludes, "I believe we should preserve the chambers and the board and commission room for city business. … But I don't ridicule your position. And I don't dispute your statistics. And I certainly didn't mean to smirk – much less smirk at you. You have my genuine apology and personal horror that you or anyone would think I was smirking."

Ultimately, Robbins was granted use of chambers for the release of his acclaimed Austin Environmental Directory (www.environmentaldirectory.info/Austin) but only after Lee Leffingwell signed off – under usage rules released last summer by the city manager's office, citizens can reserve chambers only with council approval. So after his "Kafka-esque charade," Robbins comes before council once again today to make his case. "I'm not making the waters part for anyone wishing to christen their dog there," Robbins says. "But what I see here – and you may not – is symbolic of a bigger issue. One by one, all our civic rights are being taken away"; along with the chambers controversy, he cites the electric utility making formerly available information "proprietary" and the city passing revenue bonds without elections. "This is symbolic. I don't want them to take my City Hall away." And just 'cause the Paul Robbinses of the world are a bit prickly doesn't mean they're wrong.

As you might have guessed, there's not too much going on at today's meeting. Aside from the noontime rabble-rousing, the only items likely to raise an eyebrow include a $500,000 appropriation for the Mexican American Cultural Center, arriving after protestations the MACC was passed over in the first round of bond-money appropriations; $40,000-a-season incentives to NBC for every season of Friday Night Lights filmed here, with more promised if they stay in town (and on air); and a whole grand in fee waivers for the Statesman's Capitol 10K.

Raising the question: Who needs a bigger break – the Peacock or the Cox sisters?